Lost My Way

"Thoughts From That Short Person" [11]

welcome to the new year! 2019, a year i'm telling myself will be my year.

because last year was our year. mine and his, or at least, i think of it as "that era in life where he was a very, very prominent person."

and...

i will admit, i'm not over him because there's still a flame of hope of us getting back together, even if he's got someone new.

i repeat: he has someone new.

hey, hey, she's pretty, and he says he loves her, and he hopes that i find someone that loved me as much as he loved me, and maybe even more. (slap in the face much)

so, yeah. three days after that last "thoughts from...," another phone call. and... more shunning. and... more sinking lower and lower.

but we stayed in a cabin in the woods, and it felt amazing. calming, peaceful, and "GET OUT OF THE CABIN AND GO OUTSIDE AND SOCIALIZE GIMME YOUR PHONE" sigh

also, i spoke to him a few days ago. he didn't miss a chance to imply that he was dating someone, and i was informed he thought he could speak to me casually.

my thoughts on that last statement: if the adults hadn't clashed, i would've been fine. probably offered a "talk to me whenever you think you want to/need to," but i... would still have that emotional turmoil where i'd think "he's dating someone else you're not needed, just why are you even still talking to him?" kind of thing. i mean i think i'm good now, but...

time will tell, ya know? i'm just waiting for the right moment to burn my box of unsent letters.

anyway, happy new years! i'm going back to school tomorrow but i'm too lazy to be productive.

and as always, future me and/or anyone, if you're still reading this, i hope you're doing well. just don't forget that even if you like to be alone, you don't like complete, 100% isolation.

because humans are social creatures and need some mind simulation to enjoy life, hEY GUYS VSAUCE HERE-