Memoirs of an Outstanding* Teen

Chapter 8: Yo, Girl Why Your Skirt So Tight

I had maintained my habit of being a deadweight in Ms. Annoyed Face's group throughout the first few months. They had apparently decided to find several hanging out places instead of just "walking around the school" during break time. So when the bell rang at 10:00, I would go buy myself a packet of Simba chips at the school's tuck-shop and go sit or stand with them at one of the spots.

Riana had joined us, along with the friends she made in 8D, and if you thought we had a connection, you, like me, thought wrong. She seemed to have completely forgotten that we met and bonded on the first day of school. She, and everybody else, continued to ignore me and turn the conversations to things that I couldn't possibly talk about. Their primary school experiences, their clubbing and drinking experiences, their boyfriends - all topics that were completely foreign to me. So, I had made the habit of just eating my chips in silence after greeting them and saying little to nothing the whole time. And usually, they would leave me be.

But one Friday, they were particularly lively. Maybe they were excited about how they would be turning up during the weekend instead of studying or doing homework. Maybe they had taken something that rhymes with heed and was definitely not allowed at my school. Either way, they were standing at the red stones laughing so hard at mildly funny jokes that they couldn't even stand straight. I was trying my best to blend in so occasionally, even when their jokes made no sense all to me, I would offer a "Ha" or a "that's funny." Otherwise, I just stood there with my arms crossed, watching the freak show in silence.

During one of her laugh attacks, somehow Riana's hand ended up on - and I hope this is the family friendly word here - my bum. Now, you would think she would realize the awkwardness of it all, just take her hand off, and proceed like nothing happened. That would be the thing to do for any other normal person, right? But apparently not for Riana. She proceeded to stick out her finger and press into my bum. Not once. Not twice. But several times. Like someone testing out the squishiness of slime. Then as if that was not awkward enough, she went on to say, "Your bum is so soft. My finger goes right in." To which one of the other girls responded, "Aweh Nelu!" Just like one of those dudes that catcall you on the street. Ew!

I'm sure if I didn't have melanin in my skin, I would have looked like a steamed tomato at that point. I was not only extremely embarrassed but also grossed out. Disgusted by myself. I wished I could take out my sweater and tie it around my waist or sit down, or do anything to just stop all the staring and the poking and the catcalling. I wished the bell would ring so I could just go back to class and get the lost in the books again.

A few weeks later, as I was changing out of my school uniform, my sister, ever so kindly pointed out to me, "Nelu, you got fat. Your skirt didn't tight your bum like that before." Why thank you sister! That's exactly what I needed to hear, isn't it? That was the first time I thought about possibly losing weight. Little did I know, there would be a time when not a single day would go by without me thinking about getting thinner.