Memoirs of an Outstanding* Teen

Chapter 57: I Hope To God You're Right

They spoke in looks. Maybe they gave me the looks before, but thanks to the shield of sleeplessness, I didn't notice them. Now, I came back to school rested, my mind fully alert, my heart open to take the spears they shot through their eyes.

I would be standing at my prefect-assigned place, guiding the students to the school hall. They would look at my face, then down at my legs, then at each other. I wouldn't be able to continue telling them to walk silently, or to tuck in their shirts, or tie up their ponytails. I couldn't risk my voice cracking.

It felt like everybody who looked at me shuddered in horror at the disgusting whale I had become. I wished my blazer was long enough to cover those goddamn legs.

Sometimes I would hear them whispering behind my back about how fat I had become. And sometimes they were brazen enough to say it right to my face.

I was walking out of my Afrikaans oral exam (one I had to take before the written exams started) and going to the place where I usually stood to wait for someone to come pick me up. The girls there were all looking at me, and watching me walk down. I knew what they were looking at. While I was still a few meters away from them, one of them said, "So do you just eat and sleep the whole day, huh?"

Wow.

She could have left it there. But no, she turned to her friend and asked her, "Do you also want to look like that?" And her friend's face twisted in disgust, "Ew no! That's too much!"

Ouch.

I was back at that spot on another afternoon, waiting for my dad. One of the girls I sat with at break time said, "I just hope I pass physics. I know Nelu here will be on that top ten list." I laughed and thought, "I hope to God you're right."