Memoirs of an Outstanding* Teen

Chapter 51: Stay Strong and Conquer

I have asked this before, and I ask it again: Have you ever felt like you're not the one controlling your actions or your emotions? If you haven't, then you should know that you are not the one controlling your actions. You should know that especially when it comes to your body, you're not the one in control. You're like a dog on a leash that thinks it's free because it can run around in its little radius of freedom while some other master is holding the leash. If you go too far too fast in any direction, you're going to be yanked back in place with violence. If you starve yourself, if you stuff yourself, if you don't sleep enough, if you don't exercise enough, if you don't give your body all the nutrients it needs but only those that taste good to your tongue, if you deprive your body of its basic needs in any way, the master will yank you back into place with violence.

If you're ever like me and you find yourself wanting to "be a good girl" through any destructive habits, I suggest, instead, that you choose to be wise. Choose to be a wise woman or a wise man instead, whether you're 10 or 50.

But I know myself, from past and present experiences, that knowing something is bad and not doing it are not always correlated. Just because you know smoking is bad for you doesn't mean you won't do it. Heck, I know smokers who know the bad effects of smoking in even much better detail than non-smokers, but they still pull out their lighters and cigs.

I don't have all the answers. How do you not go through what I went through? I don't know. All I can say is, whatever happens, good luck. Stay strong and conquer. And always remember, you're not alone. You're never alone.