Memoirs of an Outstanding* Teen

Chapter 13: Start Counting

While in Tanzania, I celebrated the return of WC: weigh comments. There are just some people in this world who have zero tact, zero empathy, and zero sensitivity. Remember that part that tells you not to say mean things to people? Apparently, some people have a part that does the opposite. They have something in their heads that tells them to pick out the mean stuff and tell them to people. Just like, "You look fat!" "You must be eating all the time that side, right?" "You used to be so thin, like a model. Now you're fat. You're not Miss Tanzania anymore." Why thank you, Madam! Very kind of you to point that out to me.

It seemed like nobody missed an opportunity to remind me that I no longer looked the way I looked when I was 10.

All these comments were supposed to be handled by my already broken heart. I was still handling the shock and guilt of having failed myself in the last exams. Now here I was, being reminded of how lazy I was. How I "ate too much." And again, I wanted to do something drastic to make myself feel better, something to ease the pain of the horrid realization. So, I decided I would commit myself to losing weight. I had read something about kilojoule or calorie counting. I heard that if you cut out a certain number of kilojoules from your diet, you would lose one kilogram of weight. That was going to be my tactic. I was going to be a good, and diligent girl. I was going to do the math correctly to the T. I was going to keep my calories below the threshold so I could finally lose the weight, and not be called lazy anymore. That was the very first time I felt "fitspired" if you can call it that.

When I got back to Namibia, I got myself a calorie notebook. And I detailed down everything I ate, exactly how much I ate, and I Googled exactly how many calories each bite contained. Even if it was a one gram piece of gum, you bet it would get noted. Then I decided on a 1200 calorie threshold. I wasn't going to go above that, and the further down I was from it, the better.

I stayed on this diet for about two weeks, before I got myself my very first scale. I was excited to see how much weight I had lost. I had been so diligent on my diet, I was ready to see 10 kilograms shaved off that scale.

But when I stepped on the scale, I had lost only one kilogram! Turns out you can't lose 10 kilograms in one week.

It was time to amp things up. Lower that threshold. I had to lose the weight faster. Little did I know, this calorie plan that would ruin my life for years.