Roxan ~ In My Life with the Beatles

64

Mornings are always Brighter.

I must have slept because just like that a new day appeared, sunshine streaming into the room, children giggling and laughter drifting through the open window. I shift my stiff muscles and try and doze a little more.

"Morning" John speaks and I jump what feels like a foot but more than likely only millimetres. I have, again, forgotten. The night, the nightmares it brought and the moments before I went back to sleep flood back and I groan loudly. "Are you ok there!? Sick?"

"I'm ok except for the guy spooning me presently" As I groaned, John had rolled over and was very comfortably settled behind me. Suitably conscious of EVERY inch of his body touching me I was a little nervous about his intentions.

"Right, I'll sort out those noisy lot, do you want some breakfast? Sorry nurse Linda didn't leave notes on all the ins and outs of tending to your every need" John rolled off the bed and stood at the door of my small bathroom then darted off to tend his own needs first. Silently I thanked him for not 'trying something on' me this morning. It was way too soon.

Gazing at the ceiling it suddenly hits me. What I was actually saying to myself?!

Too soon, too soon for what?!!!

Hell!? Am I actually contemplating 'John'- again!

I am a glutton for punishment aren't I!

But then again, it's John- no one else has held these powerful feelings over me like he has- not power as in mean or bullying, just an intensity of emotions that I always seem to let bubble up when he makes an appearance, no matter what he does I always seem to be willing to cut him a break, forgive.

Do I forget too easily. Always allowing repeats in this 'life relationship' that is between us.

"What cha' thinking about?" He is casually leant against the doorframe smiling indulgently at me. He's so gorgeous; tousled hair, 2 day growth an' all.... I guess my face ran a gamut of emotions as I searched for answers for now, he pushes away and comes to hover over me. "Not triple guessing my intentions again are you?"

"Well yes... and no" I squint at his face, realization dawning "You have contact lens in again!!" I knew something was different because he could see me from the door way but it didn't hit me til now. He started wearing them in '65 but he was a dead set git, his bobbly eyeballing when he was being a loon or angry made them fall out, constantly.

It was forever 'Rox stop by the optom and get another lot of contacts luv' cost a damn fortune they did.

"Don't change the bloody subject and yes thank-you. I'm trying to wear contacts again, don't you go running your mouth to Macca now! .... He'll probably call me vain or something in one of his mundane songs about pigs or rams or lambs or some twat rubbish"

"Hey, I heard that!" Paul was paused with his hand about to knock on the open door, mug of coffee cradled in his other hand. "Now who's the vain one thinking I write all my songs about you, John. Now, come to think of it, John through the looking lens- catchy. Linda get me note pad hun!"

"Oh shut the f-"

"John...." Paul chides. "children are present"

It's light and teasing banter, I hope they keep it that way.

"Sorry... shut up Paulie"

"I just came with coffee for the beautiful Mademoiselle" His gorgeous eyes and smile meet mine, his happiness was radiating from every pore, John couldn't have put him a bad mood even if he tried. He took a step into the room.