Roxan ~ In My Life with the Beatles

47

Christmas 68

Its three and a half months since I was last with John, our eye-popping night that I will never regret, never take back.

Especially, since at Christmas, that night so long ago brought me some very different cheer.

"Mrs Lennon, what brings you in this fine December day" Doctor Oberts was pleasant and didn't push, which is the sort of person I could relax with.

"Oh nothing really. My friend here, dragged me down, she seems to think I'm not 100% well and pestered me to have a check-up." I nodded towards Linda, she had been checking up on me since the night I found out about the cocaine and affair. She even turned up with Paul this morning to cart me down to the doctor's office herself; as I had been putting off attending.

"Well you tell me what YOU feel, Roxan. Then I will run a few tests so we can allay your friends concerns, OK?" The doctor nodded toward the bed set up in the corner of the room. I eye rolled Linda and hopped up laying back on the plastic cover.

"Oh it's nothing, just a bit sick, flu like stuff and a tad tired"

"And she hasn't been eating well" Linda glares at me then gives me a hint of a smile to show she means well.

"Hmmm. Hmmm. Let's lift up your shirt, have a feel of your tummy see if there are any sore spots" He waits for me to organise the waistband of my pants and lift my blouse up to my bra. I gaze at the ceiling uncomfortable and nervy.

"Well miss you have a fair amount of swelling there..... Think you can pee in the little jar? Toilet is down the hall on the left" I don't have a chance to mutter a refusal, the doctor gives me a knowing look then turns to write on the chart and I push up off the bed to head to the bathroom with the little jar. I'm back in minutes.

"Excellent. Take a seat I won't be but a minute" The doctor strolls from the room calling for a nurse as he leaves the doorway.

"You'll see, it will be nothing" I smile knowingly at Linda who is giving me a questioning look as she chews on the inside of her cheek.

We twiddle our thumbs for five minutes and as I'm about to stand to look out the window the door opens and the doctor rounds the desk, sits himself down and leans forward, towards us, hands clasped together. His glasses are a little down his nose and he looks over the top of them, at me "Well young lady I have some good news for you. You are NOT sick!"

I poke my tongue out at Linda and the doctor, clears his throat.

"You are, however, pregnant!"

"Pardon" I swing around to face him and lean forward. My ears and head trying to catch up with what he's saying.

Dr. Oberts smiles at me "I know, I know. You have been told that this is near nigh on impossible! But Roxan, you my dear, are indeed, very much pregnant! Wonderful news! Congratulations!"

I'm numb, tears run down my face, Linda leans closer grabbing for my hand. The doctor continues his little speech I can't really hear all he says. My heart is pounding in my ears.

"Right, here are some tablets to calm that stomach, you must have had a bad case of morning sickness and I really want you to start eating properly! Most important as this bub is small and needs you to give it some good quality nourishment for it to grow. Now by the looks of you I'm thinking 2 months"

"Three and half..." I whisper quietly and the doctor grapples with my words. "...months" More tears escape, the doctor assumes they are of joy.

All I can think of is John's gone and I'm all alone.