Roxan ~ In My Life with the Beatles

10

Take a picture it will last longer.

I waited a while to tell mother about university, I had continued to work and often got a wink from the Lennon boy; he sometimes tried to stop but either his lads would push him out the door in their impatience or he would pass quickly, sprinting up the street, with a dozen girls on his heels. (Insert massive eye roll here) I took the winks he shot me as he whizzed by; they meant a lot for a gesture so small.

Also just last night I found a large handful of white sweets in a bag in the storeroom. It was late, after all the patrons had gone and the doors locked tight, I was alone. I couldn't for the life of me work out why they sat there on a box of pop in the back. I hadn't had a sweet for ages so grabbed a couple out. They were the sort that you see have writing on them like luv u and other inane messages. I looked carefully at the bag and found a note attached to the bottom, before reading it I had some more lollies, realising they all said 'WINK' every last one of them! The note just said

'for the times I ain't there. J.L' .

Well that was nice, those sweets were very sweet indeed.

*************

The morning of the 15th of July was unusually fine for Liverpool but that would soon change back to a more mundane Liverpool day. It would soon enough become clouded and threaten rain again. In the meantime I took the opportunity to do some recon on the house. I grabbed the camera again I have no idea why, though perhaps a nice pic of mother for my dorm room would be lovely. No Charlie thank goodness, I ran up the back steps and peered in the kitchen window spotting mother darning his police issue socks. ugh.

I tapped on the glass and waved a little. She is still my mother, I love her and she is as much a victim as me "Hello mummy" she stood up and pulled me in for a lovely hug, automatically glancing nervously around for fear he saw us displaying affection. She never out and out spoke about anything but her eyes told me of secrets she knew and she was sorry but too fearful and unable to leave the situation herself.

We chatted like I was a wee girl again and I even sat with a cup of tea, it was wonderful. I told her I was leaving soon and I would write as soon as I could. She seemed happy for me to be rid of the chains of Charlie.

***

The front door smashed open and a very drunk and highly disorientated Charlie fell over the threshold. He was in uniform but his eyes were big as saucers, sweat was formed across his brow and beads rolled down the side of his face.

I'd never seen a face like it, not angry, or leering, or hate filled. I finally realised what it was - he was scared, terrified.

Not even realising I was stood in the kitchen doorway preparing for flight, he muttered and rambled on and on, over and over "Out of nowhere. Stupid woman" and my personal favourite "Menlove" wasn't sure what that meant but it sounded kinda' funny rolling off his inebriated, disgusting tongue.

Still oblivious to my presence he vomited in the doorway and dashed up the stairs, well he tried to; though it was more a crawl/ fall up the stairs. Uttering all those words over and over as he crashed through the house.

I took that as my cue to leave, after hugging mother I collected up my camera and passed over the disgusting mess at the front door. I was about to dash down the street but my feet stopped as my eyes feel on the police car sat at the front of the house.

My eyes widened as they fell about the vehicle that sat in front of me.

The bumper bar was pushed in and a section of the front fender hung precariously from the car ready to fall off, a smear of darkish red brown dried liquid was across it and the side door, like a paint brush had been taken to the vehicle. I don't know what compelled me but I took a dozen pictures making sure the car registration number was in the frame. A free community newspaper had laid unread in the gutter so I unrolled it quickly making sure the date was visible in the pics too. My hands worked quickly as if on autopilot- whatever the drunk had done would be hushed up by his cronies so this next major decision I made had to be done, done now and done speedily.

As I stepped up to the fender to rip the remaining piece from the car I could see a foreign item that should never have been near a car like this let alone a broken fender. My fingers lightly touched it disbelieving what my mind screamed at me.

Lace.

Pretty delicate white lace.

I touched it and my mind spun, that wasn't just paint or oil that was smeared about. It was. Oh god, is it blood?.

Time stopped. My head spun. I couldn't move.

A siren sounded in the distance, then went off again, closer this time. I woke my frozen brain up, took more pics of the lace which was both on the bumper and pieces of it attached to the fender. I grabbed the bare metal and it gave way after one tug, a section of lace staying with it. I lugged it down the side found a blanket and wrapped it up, I took it, my camera and me back to my hiding spot at the Cavern. Evidence of something catastrophic but what?