Roxan ~ In My Life with the Beatles

66

Monday-itis

Waking Monday morning I smiled as I watched John sleep peacefully beside me his lips pursed softly and forehead worry free, his cheeks flushed a little. 

I had torn down the wall I had erected in the biggest way imaginable but I didn't feel bad, just content that we were ok. If it lasts, or indeed if I outlast the cancer, we would be right with each other. Friends or lovers, either was ok.

"Wake up sleepy head" I shook the sleeping lump beside me and bounced on the bed. John grumbled and rolled over, an arm slung off the side of the bed and one above his head. "I'm going to make us breakfast and you're going to get up, we need to go down the hospital- Its Chemo day- yay!" I poked John nose "That was sarcasm by the way" 

The lump finally moved and re positioned, a tired face looking at me through half closed eyes, his hair poking out in all directions.

"Well you're happy today, did I release a spring of sweet disposition or something?!" He grinned devilishly at me and grabbed my wrists making me move closer to kiss his lips. "How am I supposed to get you in and out of the hospital with this handsome mug of mine, my luv?"

"Frank's down in Linda and Paul's room" I got gingerly off the bed and grabbed the glasses and plates from yesterday.

"Frank?"

"You remember.... Frank!" I laughed and walked out to the kitchen.

"Frank? Oh Frankkkkk - the moustache and hat disguise from years ago!?!! Geez is he even sterile? Between all the years and Paul's chipmunk sweaty face, ewwww .... I wouldn't want to catch anything"

I giggled and continued battling my way toward the kitchen.

We ate breakfast in comfortable silence. I was psyching myself up quietly.

I hated Mondays for what it did to me and my body. John hadn't experienced this yet so this would be an ordeal of sorts for both of us.

"What are you thinking about" John broke into my thoughts and grabbed my hand. "You were staring right through me Syd"

"The chemo, if you need to walk away for some air just go, don't stay and be a trooper. I don't want, or need, you feeling ill or fainting"

"We'll get through it Rox. So, hospital, the chemo, then the doctor will check up with you and more blood test's right?"

I nodded and stood to clear the table.

"Leave that, you go get yourself ready luv"

*********

Frank was handy, no one guessed John was John so he wasn't hassled and we were left to our own devices with only my nurse who inserted the cannula and took a blood sample milling around. A few of the regular staff members only enquired to Linda's whereabouts and who my new helper was, which by now, had morphed into Frank, my close friend.

While I was hooked up with the chemo and turned on, I sat back in the beige day unit chair.

It was in shoddy shape, having seen better days and the handle for the footstool thingy was broken off. We quietly talked about donations and such; I had been donating regularly but nothing like the amount John was talking about pumping into the place.

All the while I was filled with both a juxtaposition of nerves and confidence as the drugs feed into my body. Never a week the same, it's daunting not knowing what the body will decide to do on the day.

John, sorry Frank, was good at first, sitting nicely in a plastic chair near my feet but as the hours wore on he paced, stood at the window going on about the possibility of a storm (Who the f@# cares!), tapped his foot then picking his nails, scratching the now itchy 'frank' on his face, saying 'I'm bored' multiple times plus humming and mumbling about 'bloody doctors', amongst other gloriously, wonderful things that I couldn't give a rat's fat arse about presently.