SECOND CHANCES - Forgiving Isn't Always Easy

Chapter fourteen: News

"I have no idea what's awaiting me, or what will happen when this all ends. For the moment I know this: there are sick people and they need curing."
                                    ~~~~Albert Camus

“Selen?”- they heard a voice call her from the hall and turned around to face it. Looking up she saw Michael heading towards them with long strides. In just a few seconds he closed the distance between them.

“Michael,  hey. What are you doing here? “- she inquired, but instinctively reached forward to greet him and they exchanged a quick kiss on one cheek. Selen was caught up talking to her new arrived friend, to notice that Alex's eyes were burning holes in the other man's body.

“Maria told me what happened and I came here as soon as I could. How's Hope?”- he genuinely asked and she felt it. Yes they had properly met a few days ago and had gone on one date, but that had been enough to know each-other. Michael was a very sweet and open person. Kinda like one of those books you instantly take to after the first 5 chapters.

“We don’t know yet. She seems to do  fine so far, but the results aren’t conclusive yet and I’m terrified.”- she admitted. Slowly, he took both her hands in his and squeezed them softly.

“It’s all going to be fine. She is a strong little girl!”- he told her, remembering the brief moments in which he had seen Hope, after their date had ended.

“Akhem,..”- Alex fake coughed.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you had something you needed to tell me…”- he said effectively breaking their hold.

“Ummm…yes… “

“Who is this guy?”- Alex couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh.. Right… Sorry. This is Michael,”- she said extending her hand towards the man.

“Michael this is Alex.”- she concluded.

“I’m the baby daddy.”- he spoke, taking one step forward, coming to stand alongside her.

“What is he doing??”- she inquired to herself, but didn’t dwell  on it long.
Michael was taken aback by Alex's introduction, but recovered quickly.

“Hi, I’m your baby mamma’s friend.”- he said, placing both hands in his front pockets, looking boyish and charming, though Selen could tell he was uncomfortable.

“Michael, why don’t you go inside. Maria is there too. I’ll be right back.”- she pointed at the room they had just left minutes ago. With a small smile intended for her, he entered the room.
Just as he closed the door behind him, Selen turned to her ‘baby daddy'.

“What was that?”-she demanded with stern voice and look in her face. Somehow she managed to furrow her brows and raise one at the same time.

“What was what? “- he feigned ignorance and slightly pouted his lower lip, to match his reply of oblivion. She wasn’t fooled by his excuse, though that expression bothered her highly. As in want to kiss it badly, bother…

“Focus!”-she had to mentally scold herself.

“You and that Mitch guy close?”- Alex pretended to casually blurt it out.

“Michael. And I don’t assume that is any of your business.”- she made her way and sat in one of the chairs, just mere meters ahead. The kind hospitals have for relatives to sit and wait in. Alex followed in her footsteps and sat near her.

“If that man is going to be near my daughter, you can assume  that’s very much my business.”- he simply stated, staring at the floor, head hanging low.

“You have no need to worry about it. I’m very careful in everything that concerns my daughter. But out of courtesy and… respect, as we should have for one another at this stage, I’ll let you know if and when it happens. “

For a couple of minutes they sat silently, never looking at one another. Still gazing at the floor, Selen forced herself to speak.

“When I first found out I was pregnant, nearly one month had passed. I was living with Maria at the time, still am… My parents kicked me out of the house when they found out what happened and Jake, my long time boyfriend left me as well.  I knew he would react that way, after all I cheated on him so at  every level I understood him. My parent's reaction however took me by surprise. I knew they’d get mad, but I didn’t expect to hear all that I heard. My father literally disowned me. Said he didn’t want anything to do with a ….”- she couldn’t finish that sentence. If  Alex had felt guilt before, he wanted to beat himself up now. And  the clenched fists and white knuckles were proof of that. He had never thought a parent could be that cruel to a child. After all it was her life, damn it! Nonetheless, he didn’t speak a single word, instead tightened his jaw hard.

“Needles to say I was left outside alone and with nothing but my clothes. Maria was the only person I could turn too and she opened her home to me. She was there when you left,”- and at the mention of those words he almost ripped the flesh out of his inner hands, -“ there when I was left homeless and penniless, there when I found out I was expecting.”

She paused for a bit, taking several deep breaths.

“I was 22 at the time.. Hadn’t really thought about babies yet. I loved them and I’d play with one whenever and wherever I could, but having one of my one hadn’t crossed my mind yet. Guess I always figured I’d be with the man of my dreams, get married and then start planning for kids. But life ain’t what we plan it to be. It surprises you and turns the tables in one second. You wake up one morning and it feels like all other mornings, only when you go to sleep that day… you are homeless, family less and very much pregnant. Funny…”

Again there was a awkward silence moment when she stood there contemplating on what had happened these past years, while Alex kept the thinking about how things would have been different, had he only known.

“You’d think I’d be scared when the test showed two stripes… You’d think I’d freak out and cry for my misfortune… You’d think I’d curse you and resent the baby… You’d think… Only I wasn’t scared,  I didn’t freak out or cry and I didn’t curse you or hate the baby. It was all the opposite actually. The news came when I least expected it and it was this ray of light in what had been only dark and pitch black. It’s funny how something so small could turn my world upside down in a second and make it worth living. “

Deep breaths, only this time a smile was plastered in her face and Alex couldn’t help but smile too.
It warmed him to know that no matter how he had ruined her life, their baby hadn’t. Instead it had given her strength, will and HOPE!

“For the next months I started to take care of my self. I went to the doctor regularly, ate according to the diet he gave me, slept well, worked but nothing to harm the pregnancy. I  tried talking to my parents several times, but they wouldn’t listen. My father never accepted the fact that I was expecting and I’ll never forget the last words he said to me…. Right before I went into labour…”- with that her face trailed off and a tear escaped her soft eyes. Alex had this urge to wipe that tear off her face and hug her tight, tell her he was there now and no one would ever hurt her again; however he knew better that to let his emotions take the best of him…again.

“I gave birth when I was only 7 months along. It was too soon and I was alone. Maria had left just the previous day to attend to some family issues and she'd fly back two days later. We didn’t think I’d be a problem, since I wasn’t due for two more month and her family needed her. I was the one to push her to go actually. As  I said, the next day my water broke.  It was 8:30 pm and I was alone. Thankfully the first contractions weren’t very strong so I managed to get my bag ready and call a cab. On the way to the hospital I called my parents. They were both home… I told them I was going into labour soon and that I needed them with me. Not only didn’t they accept, but his last words to me were: ‘Hope whatever bastard you are carrying never steps into this world!”. With that he hung up.”

“What?”-was the first word Alex had managed to utter, still in disbelief.

“H-H-ow can a father say that to his daughter?? H-How?”- he turned to face her with rage filling his eyes. He wanted to tear him limb from limb for the pain he had caused with his words!!

“I don’t know… But mine did. He was and has always been a conservative man. Always had his own old fashioned, stubborn way of thinking. My mum.. Well she tried whenever she could but she was never a strong woman. She never could stand up to him. So the last time I spoke to him, that were the fatherly words I got.  And they became true..”- her voice was barely a whisper now.

“Now they didn’t! Hope is going to be alright and I’ll make sure of that. I promise!”- he spoke decisively and took her right hand in his. Selen gazed deep into his eyes and saw the resolution in them.

“I know!”- she gave him a soft smile.

“After seeing you with her today, how happy she was.. I just know life can’t possibly be that cruel.”- she offered him another innocent smile.

“However, that’s not what I meant….”- her eyes trailed off again from his eyes, to his chest and seemed to be lost there.

“What did you mean?”- he asked puzzled.

“I should have told you one thing first…. When I found out I was pregnant… I… I-umm…I also f-f-found out I was expecting… twins…”- she finally let out and another tear rolled down her cheeks and found his way to her neck and then trailed down her shirt.  Alex's hand went numb and so did his whole body. His glare froze as his mind was struggling to comprehend the bone he had just been thrown.

“T-tw-..ins?”- me stuttered it out.  Selen simply nodded.

“H-how?”

“You know normally I’d be making jokes, but I can’t… not at this situation.“

Another silence.

“I gave birth to my first child after 15 minutes of labour. A baby boy… “- tears flew down her eyes and her nose started to itch.

“I was so happy, only it was cut short. My baby didn’t cry… I knew something was wrong when he didn’t cry. One of the doctors and some nurses took him away from me, at a table and gathered around his little body. I didn’t know what was going on, all I knew was this gut wrench feeling I was having.  My eyes landed on the table my baby was at and my heart started beating way faster than when I was pushing. It felt as if it wanted out of my chest and go to my son.”- all the while she spoke, past emotions rushed over her again and she felt the same pain take  over her heart and body.

Alex didn’t know what to do, say or feel. He knew the end of this tale and he couldn’t believe it was true. He had lost a baby even before knowing what it was, and now he had lost one at birth. His heart ached, for his baby, for him and for her. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend the pain she must have felt.. The helplessness..

“I’m sorry,”- she heard him whisper between a single tear that raced down his strong jawline.

“Wasn’t your fault. He didn’t make it…”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.. I’m so sorry..”- he turned to face her with red eyes and a crumbled face.

“I know… But … You know… no matter how I understand the reason why you left, I still can’t get past it. I was scared, hurt, terrified and I had just lost a child, and I went through it all alone. You weren’t there, nobody was there… I would have broken down, entered an abyss of pain… do you know what kept me fighting through it? What gave me strength from her own? Light from her own? Hope for a better day? Hope… That’s why I named her that. I had picked out all this beautiful names for my  babies, made a whole list but when she was born… When she was born my heart mended a little, got fixed a little and this feeling of hopefulness rushed in my heart. That’s when I knew she was my HOPE!”- Selen told him with teary eyes but with a spark in them that glowed brighter.

“I told you all this, not because I need you to feel guilty or sorry for me or stuff like that. No!  I just need you to try and understand me. It’s hard for me to forget Alex. And though I forgive you for leaving, though I understand, I… I can’t forget it all. Hope is my light, my reason to leave and now I’m standing in a hospital hall with my baby laying in a bed next room. I…”- she couldn’t speak any more as words got stuck up in her throat.
Without talking, without second thought, he turned his whole posture to face her and hugged her delicate frame softly. Her head rested in his shoulder, her hands gripped the sides of his tux and her shaky, uneven breaths sent shivers down his spine when caressing his neck.


******


Standing in the doctor’s room, she felt her heartbeat race faster and faster. Her hands were sweating and fiddling with each other in her lap and her leg was doing that  nervous tap it always  when she was under pressure.

Alex stood across from her, walking and spinning around, trying to calm himself. He had been telling himself it was all going to be fine and he believed it;  however he couldn’t stop himself. Sweet Hell,  how many emotions can a human feel all at once??

In a few seconds, the door was wide open and Dr. McKinley walked in.

“Sorry for the wait!”- he apologized and motioned his hand for them both to take a seat, as Selen had stood up at his entrance.

“I know you have been here two days now and you are worried and believe me I want to put you out of the misery of waiting, so I’m going to cut to the chase. We have two news, as cliché as it sounds, one good and one bad. Which one would you like first?”- he said, comfortably sitting at his chair and leaning his elbows on the table.

“The bad one. What’s wrong with our baby daughter?”- Alex inquired with his cold business posture, seemingly unaffected, though they both knew better.

“Well, as we suspected she has tumor.”- he paused, letting his words sink in and their heartbeats pound in their heads as loud drums. 

------A/N----

Hey, sorry for the delay :( however I'm going to post the consecutive chapter very soon, so I will make it up to all you.

So, what do you think of this new chapter?
So guess Hope is really sick, huh?
And what could possibly be the good news?

Vote and comment to let me know your thoughts.

As always, love you all and thank you in advance 😘😘

-X-O-