Different {Harry Styles}

Chapter 12: What are you doing here?

He hasn't seen me yet. This is my chance, I think. I will just go to him and start the conversation I wanted to do.

I walk towards his table. The table seems to be much further than it actually is. The adrenaline is pumping through my whole body. I'm fully stressed when I almost reach the table. I wonder where this stress came from in the first place, but I have to focus. When I finally reach the table, he doesn't look up. He has never left his eyes from the plate in front of him. It's like the plate is an interesting book, like really his eyes don't move a second from it.

So probably I have to start this conversation, not something I hoped for. I hate to start, it's always so awkward. Now it's even more awkward, because I'm standing already for seconds just next to him. I think he knows I'm standing next to him, I would anyway, I always have this weird feeling when someone is staring at me.

"Euhm.. Harry?" I start as if I don't know it's him sitting there eating a plate full of pancakes.

"Melanie?" He asks surprisingly when he looks up. The way he said that was just perfect. I will never get enough of that accent. Oh no, I have to. i have to end this. This will be my last conversation with him.
"What are you doing here?" He questions when I don't answer.

"Euhm.. I could ask you the same thing." I finally answer. I'm completely blown away. I thought I could do it, just go to him and clear this up, but apparently I'm not ready. I have to though, I was thinking more clearly this morning than I'm doing now, so I know it's for the best to just end it, this. But when I look at him, it's just like I can forget everything what's going on. Normally I always worry, always stressing about what will happen next, and with him, just looking in his eyes, I can finally forget the world.

"I'm eating breakfast as you can see." He says, waking me up from my thoughts.

"Yeah I see, but I mean why are you doing that here, at 1 pm?" My voice isn't as shaky as it was in the beginning. I hope my boss won't get pissed at me for not working, but I think he won't. This will only take five minutes, and I usually work very hard, so no need for him to be angry. By the way he cannot find anyone else, this place sucks to work at and it's not well paid. But I need the money, so I have no other options.

"Because I was asleep the whole morning." He says. He's avoiding the question. He's hiding something, again! He better tell me the truth or this will not end up well. I don't know what I would do if he will piss me off, but I will not cry! That's for sure! Not again! I will not let him see my weakness.

"That's not an answer." I say on a neutral tone. Not angry, not yet.

"First answer my question, what are you doing here?" He asks me again. He's getting on my nerves, but I'm trying to keep a cool head. My position changed from standing next to him to sitting just opposite him.

"Fine, I work here." I answer with no emotion in my voice. Inside I feel the anger towards him getting higher and higher, but I hope it's not clear in my voice.
"Your turn." I say harshly, but still not that angry as I am.

"Can we first talk about yesterday.. I'm really sorry that I told Tracey, but I did that right after our drive, so it was before all of this date and stuff. As soon as I saw Tracey tell you about everything, I realized I was wrong. Well, I realized that before, but I figured out that it was getting out of hand. I never meant her to tell you, well.. I don't know why I did that.. But anyway I talked to her that same day when she told you about.. about our kiss.. and I said that I was fooling her shit." He says. He really is trying to have this cleared out. But why? Why does he want to make it up? Why did he want that date so badly? Why does he want me? I don't get it.

"Why Tracey? And still why did you tell her?" I ask. I don't know what difference it will make to know the answers, but I just want to know them. It still surprise me that his apologies came so early, I hadn't expected that from him, not at all. Well I hoped though. Maybe he is really sorry? But that cannot change anything, this has to be over. Today.