Different {Harry Styles}

Chapter 18: Coffee is what I need.

Sunday, it's already Sunday. Last night was such a rollorcoaster. One second I laughed, the next it was uncomfortable. And the last seconds were horrible. I've never wanted it to come that far. He asking me about coming into my house was something I've never expected to happen this early. But I seemed prepared. The pain in my ache was unbearable, but I hid it. Just like I always have done. I always have hidden the pain that comes in when people ask me about my family and stuff. That pain was the worst pain ever, but I did it for a reason. Hiding the pain was better than showing it. People would feel sorry and that was the last thing I needed two years ago.

I grab a mug and fill it with coffee. Coffee is not my most favourite thing to drink in the morning, but it's the exact thing I need right now. It was already midnight when I arrived home. I don't remember what time it was when I stepped into my car, but I don't know what it was that made the car drive much longer than it would actually take. The car drive felt the same way as it did from the day when me and Devon broke up. I felt like a robot. But now I had no feeling, no crying, nothing. It was like I was paralyzed. 

I didn't know what to do. Should I call him? Should I explain everything? But I can't, I can't do both. I can't open up, not after two years of building a wall. 

I hear the front door open and watch my gran coming inside with two bags full of groceries. It has to be already past eleven. I don't remember falling asleep or waking up. But I realize that I can only have slept for a couple of hours because of the way my face looks. 

"When did you get up?" My gran asks me and it takes longer than normally to realize what she's asking. 

"I don't know." I tell her honestly while staring at my cup of coffee. It's probably already cold. 

I stand up from my chair and head to the staircase as my gran is staring weird at me. Normally I would help her cleaning up the groceries, but I have no fit to do that at this moment.

I open the door of my small bedroom and see my phone laying on the nightstand. I grab it and stare at it for a couple of seconds wondering or I should call him or not. I decide not to, hoping that I made the right choice, and head to the small bathroom to take a shower.

Ten minutes later I'm already showered and feel a little more fit. I decide to go for a simple pair of jeans and a long jumper with the intention to not go out of this house today and stay in my room.

I walk again towards the nightstand and grab my phone. One press and it will go over. I'm just staring to the screen for seconds when a text message wakes me.

"I need to talk to you Mel."  The text message from Sarah reads. I totally forgot about her and the secret boy. I don't know or it's important or not, but I decide to call her. 

"Finally Mel!" She screams when I she picks up the phone. I don't understand why she says 'finally', maybe she was expecting me to call her, but I was too selfish and busy with my own problems that I totally forgot about her.

"yeah sorry.. What's wrong?" I say absent.

"Nothing is wrong really, but I just need to talk to you! I met him!" Typically Sarah. She sends me a text that other people would send when they have an emergency, but no, she's texting me just because she's excited. That's totally the opposite of me, I would keep all my emotions inside of me, if I could.

"Woaw! That's great." I say, trying to sound as happy for her as she is, but it's impossible with my mind who is racing now.

"Melanie what's wrong?" She speaks, knowing very well that there is something wrong and not gonna believe a simple nothing. 

I stay silent, not knowing what to answer. I don't want to explain everything now.

"Is it Harry?" She asks, and speaks again when I don't respond, "Okay, I'm coming towards your house, can you give me the address?"