In Your Orbit // Yoonmin (Complete)

Seoul

       

Jimin put the magazine he was reading down to check the time again. 11:23pm. He sighed. Yet another night he would be going to bed by himself. He sent about a thousand messages, but he did not get one reply. This was not the first time this happened. Today was Thursday and so far this week, every night had been the same. He was tired of it, tired of not being a priority, tired of feeling like a burden. He knew that the older was probably not doing it on purpose, but it sure did not seem like he was working to better himself. I should be more supportive and less selfish, Jimin reminded himself, as he got up and tossed the magazine onto the marble coffee table. He tightened his robe as he walked through the spacious living room into the kitchen. Jimin contemplated wether he should do the dishes or just leave them for the housekeeper. Why bother, he decided. He walked back into the open living space and climbed up the stairs to reach the second level. Passing through the master bedroom, he entered the bathroom. Leaving the light turned off, he stepped closer to the ceiling-to-floor window front. With his armes crossed, he let his view wander across the lights and skyscrapers of Seoul. The city of dreams, the city where he always wanted to be. He made it, but was he really happy at this point? He was not sure anymore. Jimin turned to the mirror and switched on the light. Two years had passed since he finished high school and he pretty much looked the same. Sure, his hair color had changed a couple of times, but other than his hair being a vibrant orange, he looked the same. Where did these thoughts about high school even come from, he asked himself. It was definitely time to go to bed. He fixed himself up, turned off the light, walked through the ridiculously big bedroom and jumped into bed. Funny, Jimin thought as he tried to fall asleep, I thought my life was a mess back in high school, if I would have only known that it can be much worse.

Other than the sound of chopsticks hitting bowls, there was silence at the breakfast table. Jimin dedicated as much of his attention to his rice as he could. He could feel eyes on him, but did not bother to look up. Not this time, he would not give in. There was so much anger bottled up inside of him, he was afraid he would burst if he said one word. He knew that the other would try to make amends, sooner or later. He always did, but Jimin was about to be done with those empty apologies. „Jimin." There, he was right. Jimin was almost laughing, he just won his own bet. „I know I always say it but, I'm sorry." Jimin looked up from his plate to face the other for the first time this day. „We are working really hard, it'll be done soon. Things will go back to normal, I promise", Jiyong said, his eyes soft and sincere. Usually Jimin's heart melted when Jiyong gave him this look, unfortunately it did not work this morning. „You know, hyung, I'd like to believe those words you have been saying to me again and again. But it has been going on for about two months now. What will happen when you guys are done with the new album? Promotions? A world tour? That doesn't really sound like an improvement. Also on a different note, publicity will explode with your comeback. Are you planning on hiding me away in this pathetically big apartment for the rest of my days?" Jiyong sighed. „You're not being fair", he answered. „Sure. I might not be fair. But do you think all this is fair to me? I don't do anything but go to class, I barely have any friends, because you're trying to protect me, I can not leave the house with you, because someone could see us and I also don't get to see you here since you're always working. I am literally going insane in this prison!", Jimin yelled as he jumped up from his chair and left the dining room. Jiyong buried his face in his hands. Of course he understood Jimin's point, but Jimin just did not understand that it was also everything but easy to tear yourself apart to make everyone happy.

„Chim, I really can't remember the last time I saw you smile", Taehyung noticed, as he stirred his coffee. „There's isn't anything to smile about", Jimin replied grimly. „Can we please talk about what's bothering you? I'd really like to help." Jimin looked up from his iced latte. He felt bad about the way he treated Taehyung, it sure wasn't his fault after all. „I'm sorry Tae. It's just been a lot lately. Jiyong is literally gone all the time, I am lonely, I can't see you guys very often, I have to think about every step I take outside and I can't go anywhere without annoying security", he explained while eying the bodyguard standing next to their table at the coffee shop. „I might live in an enormous apartment, dating a mega star, but at what cost. You know, sometimes I am certain that his music is the most important thing in his life. I'll never be able to compete with that. I really tried in the last couple months, but anything I do... I feel like I'm sabotaging his success. I feel selfish and self-centered, but it is always about him, everything. It's frustrating", he ranted. „Here", Taehyung said, as he handed him a tissue. „What? Oh,..", he did not even notice that tears were streaming down his cheeks. „How are you going to solve this mess? Things can't stay like this. You're clearly unhappy and I won't tolerate that." Jimin just shook his head. „I don't know either Tae, but things sure can't stay this way. I'm going to suffocate in that penthouse."

Jimin decided to walk home from the coffee shop. He did not want to take a taxi, he needed some time and space to think. His bodyguard was not pleased, but eventually agreed on walking and keeping some distance, so Jimin could be alone with his thoughts. He started to feel a little better, the rush of the city, the skyscrapers left and right, they made him feel a little less worried. At least coming to Seoul was not the worst idea he ever had. He understood Jiyong. He was very focused on his career, there was nothing wrong with that. Jimin just did not feel like he was supposed to be a part of all this anymore. Sure Jiyong made an effort at the beginning, made every single one of Jimin's dreams come true. Time passed and all Jimin had left was feeling like a nuisance. Lost in his thoughts he looked up and stopped abruptly making his bodyguard bump into him. „Everything okay Mister Park?" Nothing was okay. There, at the entrance of the subway station, the one person he thought he would never see again. Sure, his face looked a little older and his hair was was now steel gray, but Jimin would always recognize this face. „Yoochun, I changed my mind. Let's take a cab", Jimin quickly said to his bodyguard as he stepped out of sight.