the realms of day and night. || bts poetry

part 26 - stigma

I'm sorry.
All the time I tought I could bear the pain by myself
Endure it, hiding it
Kept quiet about it
Just to find myself
In the shatters of my sorrow
I don't deserve to live
Considering the sins I've commited

I'm sorry.
Can you still hear the glass shattering?
Can you still feel the glass piercing through your body?
I still see your deep wounds I'm responsible for
Getting deeper with every hit
The blood flowing down my hands
The hands with which I ended your life
My heart aches like crazy -
Sometimes I think I feel those wounds myself
To remember my sins

I'm sorry.
That you're scared of me ever since, my sister.
All I wanted is to protect you from the monster
That has been terrorizing you since years
You don't have to be thankful
I know what I've done
All I wanted is to save you
To live a life without pain
I took over the pain instead
And it's okay

I'm sorry.
I didn't tell you anything, my brothers.
But I hated myself.
I was scared that you'd be hating me, too
I wanted to receive your unconditionally love
The love I didn't deserve
But it's the only thing left in my sad world
Will you still love me
When you'll found out what I've done?
Will you?

I'm sorry.
I hoped you could forgive my sins
Sending me the warm light that illumates my sins
But I wanted you to let me punished
To never forget the sin I've commited
You gave me the STIGMA
To show that I've sinned
And to protect me from me receiving pain
Because the pain I feel already tears me apart.

I'm sorry?
Are you calling me a sinner?
Because I am.