Imperfect (arrow based)

Babe

I determined with myself that I was gonna practice telling Oliver that Barry and I kissed. I'm just not sure if he can hear me. If he can then I am screwed and if he isn't i'm screwed. Either way I am screwed because I did a bad thing and I have to tell Oliver.

"Hey babe. Today was fun I went to breakfast with Felicity. I also went shopping and I also helped her get ready for her date with Barry. I actually want to talk to you about Barry. First I want to tell you that ever since you have entered my life I have been happier and I never would have changed meeting you and second I love you. I would do anything for you just like I know that you would do anything for me. So on that note I want to tell you I lied to you about Barry. We did kiss. Barry and I kissed. Barry leaned in and I did to. But then I pulled back and told him I couldn't. I couldn't continue with Barry because the moment I kissed him I wanted to puke. Barry is a great guy and all, but he isn't you. No one will ever be you, Oliver. I fell in love with you." I end. I sit there for a few minutes with tears falling down my face. Still wondering if he heard anything. Not sure if I want him to or not. I don't think I could ever make it a better explanation. I just want Oliver to be able to understand that I love him and Barry wasn't anything.

I changed into Oliver's gray NASA shirt and found some black and white plaid shorts. I checked on Oliver one more time, gave him a peck on his forehead, and fixed his covers and went to my cot. I got to my bed and I put in my ear buds and played my Spotify playlist. Which is made up of Jon Bellion, Ruth B, Quinn XCII, a couple G-Eazy, and a couple songs from Jeremy Zucker.(my actual play list lol) I turn it up full volume. This place is kinda scary in the dark without Oliver. I mean he is here but he isn't at the same time. I never knew how life could get more confusing. My boyfriend is in a coma, he may or maynot know that I lied to him, he knows I love him, and I am part of team Arrow, my boyfriend is the Green Arrow, I help a vigliante. Crazy and confusing, but great. Wouldn't change it for anything. I dig through my bag looking for my sleeping pills. I shake my bag to make sure I have them. I hear them so I continue to dig around. Finally I found them. I open the lid and take four of them. I then close my eyes and begin to fall asleep.

I woke up several times during the night. Every time a bad dream about losing Oliver. I want to punch myself every time I think about it. The sleeping pills didn't work. I check my phone and it's 6:48 am. I go on my phone and scroll through Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest, and Facebook. After I did that I looked at the time. I was on my phone for 3 in a half hours. I get up and head over to check on Oliver. I look at the charts and everything is normal.

"Hey babe. How you doing in there? I am talking to you like you can hear me. Maybe you can. Maybe I will never know." I say talking to unresponsive Oliver. I sat and intertwined my fingers with his. I sat there and stared at him. I want to see his smile that lights up the room. I want to see his blue charming eyes. I want to feel his thumb rub my hand when we hold hands. I want to hear him say my name. I want to hear his footsteps come to me. I want to look up at him not down. I want to be able to taste your lips. I want to see your weird faces you make. I want everything back.

I get up and look around for food. Then I got the great idea to go look what food they have at the bar. I sneak up stairs and look to see if anyone is there. I procede to go behind the bar and look for food. I find a few things that I hate. I found olives, lemons, and salt. I am ready for a demon to try and attack me. I'm loaded with salt and some skills. I call Felicity to see if she can bring me food and come and tell me about last night.

"Hey." Felicity says as she answers the phone.

"Hey could you bring me food and come tell me about last night?" I ask.

"Yeah. What do you want?" She asks.

"Surprise me." I say.