One time there was a fabulous potato named William Shang Pie the third, and he lived in an interesting pile of dirt. In the pile of dirt there was dirt, and some potatoes; these were the only tolerable things about the pile.
William Shang Pie The third was constantly annoyed by probing roots trying to dig into his flesh. It was sincerely and deeply annoying. He constantly yelled at them, but they never listened. They were real meanies.
William Shang Pie the third was chilling in the dirt like wild potatoes do, when he felt a root. Angrily, he bit it. The root retracted in pain, yanking William Shang Pie the third out of the soil. The poor potato screamed as he was thrust into a world that he did not know. The world was strange; covered in weird colourful things.
They were called flowers. William Shang Pie the third saw all the flowers watching him and could hear mutters among them saying things like 'ew, a potato,' and 'ugh, I am so much cooler than that weird thing.'
Obviously he was hurt and said. "You guys are just jealous because I'm much prettier and cooler than you, you turds."
The flowers gasped in astonishment as William Shang Pie the third said this. They never made any mean comments again. They ended up living happily until that evening, when William Shang Pie the third died a horrible death from a raven stabbing him with his sharp beak.
Stand up against bullies, kids.
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The Finest Potato Stories
ActionHave you ever wondered what potatoes truly think? I know I have. That's why I created this collection of short stories, all from a potatoes point of view. Learn about potatoe's beliefs, hopes and dreams, along with their enemies. These stories will...
