The Finest Potato Stories

couch potato

You may know of the common phrase about "couch potatoes" and wonder where it comes from. Potatoes don't sit on couches. They sit in dirt. Maybe even sand as you learned before, but couches? Never. Couches just don't seem to be the right atmosphere for potatoes.

There you might be wrong. Long ago when couches were created, a potato lived in a couch.

Let me tell you how it happened. A clumsy young boy was harvesting the crops they had been blessed with that summer. He stashed some potatoes until they overflowed in a rough wooden crate, then bringing them inside to count.

When he got inside, he realized there was no table space left. It was taken up by all the other vegetables. Broccoli and cauliflower, cabbage and carrots. No matter how hard he tried, he could not fit any potatoes.

He groaned heavily. Where else could he put the crate? The only floorspace was taken up for walking. The only other spot to put them was the couch.

The patchy piece of furniture sat forlornly in the corner. Nobody ever used it. It was too ugly, and not very comfortable. Despite its fluffy look, it was hard as a rock.

He smiled as he carried the potato crate over to the couch. He set it down carefully.

"You stay there." The boy said firmly before walking away.

Apparently he wasn't firm enough, because one of the topmost potatoes said, "stupid human. You can't control me!"

With the help of her friends, the potato rolled out of the crate and fell. The impact with the couch left a bruise, but the potato didn't mind.

"Farewell, my friends." The potato spoke.

"Goodbye, our brave traveller." The others chorused.

After that the potato made slow progress towards the crack in the couch. He was determined to live here. He could still hear the chants of his family and friends when he finally reached it.

She took a deep breath before stealing into the darkness. It wasn't actually that dark, but this potato was particularly dramatic.

The potato hid there for what seemed like forever. She set up a fantastic home. Her bed was made of dust bunnies, and there were various decorations like stray candy.

One day months later, the cushion of the couch was lifted.

"A potato?" The boys mother said in shock. "How did this get down here?"

The boy looked down at the ground. "It must have been from when I put the potato crate on the couch. I am sorry, mom."

The woman laughed heartily. "Its fine, boy. Its a couch potato. I can already tell this will be a joke for centuries to come. It seems to relate to so many."

The boys face lit up. The potato groaned.