Love, Music, And Cancer | OHSHC

LMAC | Chapter Twenty-Nine

---Chapter Twenty-Nine; Starting From Those Three Words---

私もあなたを愛してます

(I love you too)

I scrambled to my bare feet and gave Tamaki a crooked smile. This is so embarrassing. ."H-Hey Tamaki!" I laughed nervously, his frown remained. It wasn't an upset frown, just a confused frown. I would be confused too though, he was probably expecting anyone else but me. It didn't even sound like me. .playing such a foolish game over a guy. So what if I liked him. .that fact doesn't really help. .

Tamaki watched me for a minute, his gentle eyes piercing hole through my body before softening slowly. I gulped nervously, I've never been so nervous. .I don't even know why I'm nervous. . ."U-U-Um s-sorry for barging in! M-My bad!" I bowed quickly. "I-I'll be on my way the-"

"Wait. ." Tamaki mumbled softly and grinned. I closed my mouth to speak against him but then opened it, imagining myself looking like a fish as I did this. "Since you're here. .I'd like to show you something. ." he said and started towards the large glass window that was covered by red velvet curtains, a sprinkle of moonlight being spotted from an area where the curtains didn't fully meet each other. Tamaki grabbed the drapes tightly, taking a breath and pulling them part to reveal the glowering moonlight.

"Wow. . ." I widened my eyes, the moon was literally breathtaking. It glowed dimly, a creme circle taking life in the black colored sky. Moonlight trickled down from the bleeding sky and took over the principals office, covering every object in its way, shimmering and dancing around the room how ever so gracefully. "It's so beautiful. ." I whispered and he nodded in agreement.

"This is why I wanted to hide here . . . I couldn't resist such a beautiful view. . ." he replied honestly. I continued gazing at the sky, my eyes now focused on the sparkling stars. How does the night do it. . a time where danger and criminals acts usual erupt, how does the night still manage to be beautiful? I wish I could be like the night sky. .no matter what happens I can always be beautiful. .I can always be perfect.

Tamaki licked his lips slowly and tilted his head towards my way. I met his gaze, making eye contact with him steadily. "My grandmother use to love the night." I chuckled under my breath. "I never understood why. .it was always so dark and cold during the night. But, she could always find the beauty in things others could not." I smiled at the thought of her.

"I remember that day. . .the day your grandmother passed. . ." Tamaki said quietly, never breaking the contact we held. I swallowed a lump down my throat, the corner of my lips pulling down. "That day. .on the news. . ." he seemed to choke the words out, I started to lose the focus in my eyes. In that day, that moment, that hour, I lost everything. I lost it all, all at once.

"What do you mean she's dead?" I asked flatly, staring at my mom as tears streaked down her face. Her hair was matted against her wet cheeks as she continuously pushed my hair back, her sniffing and crying slowly doing its best to break my heart. Grandmother is dead. I didn't understand that. Actually, I just didn't want to believe that. I knew the risks of cancer, I understood that. But. . I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe my mother was being cruel and it was a joke, or that soon our prayers would be answered and grandma would wake up.

But she kept crying, sniffing, coughing, and stroking my hair back. She kept saying 'it'll be alright' while kissing my forehead and crying like a child. She kept making me become certain that it actually wasn't going to be alright, that grandmother was really. .truly. .dead. That's when I believed it, when it fully registered itself in my brain.

My blank, emotionless expression was abruptly swept away from my face as realization of the situation gradually seeped in. The fear seemed to rise itself behind my eyes and like a caged and confused animal I stood there, paralyzed by the feeling of confusion and sorrow mixed together. I felt the water creep out of my eyes as they filled with tears, slowly becoming glossy and shiny as I dug my face in my moms shoulder, my arms hugging her so tight that I was sure she was hurting a bit. But we were both hurting, not physically, but mentally.

"Haruka. . ." I blinked back from my flashback, stiffening as I felt large arms wrap around my body, Tamaki digging his chin gently in my neck. Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of his body being pressed against mine. I sunk into the warmth of  his side, appreciating the simple gesture. "I'm so sorry. .Haruka. ." he pushed a lock of hair behind my ear, just like how my mother did. I wiped a tear that escaped my eye. "It's fine. .really. ." I whimpered quietly, embracing him back softly. That's what I said at least, but that one tear released a hundred similar ones.

"No it's not. ." he whispered in between my sobs and I gripped him tighter, not wanting to let him go. "Haruka. .dont cry. .Im right here.  ." he mumbled, a shiver traveling down my spine as his low voice sent chills within me. "I just. .I just needed someone like you. .someone to tell me it's okay, to hold me tight, to be my friend. ." I cried, shutting my eyes. "Tamaki. . .Im so glad I met you." his shirt was wet, soaked with tears but he didn't seem to mind. He laughed. "Oh, Haruka." he pulled back, a smile adorning his face as his crystal blue eyes seeped into mine, poisoning my eyes so that they never left them.

"I'm so thankful that I met you." he whispered and grabbed my waist, his hand grazing against my cheek. I stared intently in his eyes, my hand raising to caress the palm that held my face. He choked the tears I foresaw. "I cherish you. .a lot Haruka. You hear me?" he grinned, laughing weakly and I smiled back. "I hear ya." I laughed with him, our foreheads touching.

"Haruka, can I tell you something." his hand went to the corner of my lips, his finger rubbing against it carefully. "Sure. ." I mumbled breathlessly, the moon bathing us together in its glowing light.

"Every time I see you. .I want to run to you and tell you all the things I can't seem to say."

He leaned closer until our noses touched, both his hands now caressing my cheeks as if I was the only thing that mattered on earth.

"Starting from, I love you."