Love, Music, And Cancer | OHSHC

LMAC | Chapter Thirty-Three

---Chapter Thirty-Three; Promises---

約束が破られることを意味する

(Promises are meant to be broken)

I had been laying the dark depths of sleep for what felt like eternity, in a bed that was specialized for patients, but comfortable and yet not, nonetheless. Soon enough the memories of yesterday repeated themselves in my head over and over again. Shido along with the host club surprised me at the hospital, though the one I wanted to speak to the most exchanged no words with me, I was grateful that they all even came to visit me. Something was desperately trying to pull me out off my sleep, I don't know what, but, the urge to wake up was overpowering my urge to rest for a few more hours. I felt myself being practically forced to pull myself out of the darkness, my eyes fluttering open to be met with the hospital room, it was lit dimly by the bright night sky.

I thought it'd be morning by the time I woke up, why did I feel the need to wake up in the middle of the night?

Weird. . .

I glanced over to my side, my bored system already growing inside of me, that is. .until I spotted hair. Plain hair, plain blonde hair, it laid sheepishly beside me, and I widened my eyes. A piercing scream out of the blue was heard throughout the hospital, it was so loud, so full of shock and fear that it was as if you were in a live horror movie. It took me a while to realize that the scream was coming from me.

The blonde hair groggily moved itself up, a young and handsome males face meeting my own, his eyes that held bags under them grew large at my scream as his hands slapped themselves over my mouth. Tamaki? He gritted his teeth. "What the heck are you doing?!" he was obviously tired, and he wasn't at all happy to be annoyingly awaken. His voice was croaky and he looked like he wanted to collapse and sleep on the spot, I don't blame him, I did just wake him up with a scream. Smart move Haruka. . .

"Are you. . .gonna. . scream again?" he said before yawning. I shook my head from side to side. He took my word for it, gradually bringing his hands to his sides, a weak little sigh leaving itself from his mouth. "W-Why. . .why are you here?" I asked quietly, looking down at the soft white-colored covers that embraced me in its warmth. I was utterly confused, he doesn't say one single noun towards me and he's suddenly staying the night with me? His face relaxed smoothly as he raised his arm up, using his hand to wipe his drowsy eyes. "Because, I volunteered to. Your mom would've but. ." he blushed a small tint of red, looking away, he hasn't blushed like that since he last time we met. "I. .wanted to." he mumbled, his gaze fixated at the starry firmament.

I moved my eyes so that my eyebrows furrowed and I puffed my cheeks, slight anger rising inside me. "What are you thinking?! You didn't even speak a word to me and now you just suddenly want to spend the night with me?" the words had already slipped out before I had the time to think about it. Maybe it was just my anger talking, then again, now rethinking it, it most definitely wasn't.

Tamaki scowled. "What were you thinking? You didn't even tell me, tell any of us what was going on." he snapped. I suddenly felt like I shrank down a size or two. I couldn't say anything back, I didn't even have a comeback because it was true, I didn't tell them and I was never planning too. I dont necessarily regret my idea, yet I do. I was hoping that maybe I could deal with all of this withtot them knowing, without anyone knowing. The only thing that messed everything up is that I just had to pass out the night before the concert, leading me to not being able to perform today.

I started to tighten my grip on the sheets immediately, trying to hide my frustration. "I just didn't want you to know . . ." I muttered. Tamakis upper eyelids raised into a stare. "Did you think we would judge you or something? None of us are like t-" "I could care less about you or anyone judging me." I assured him nonchalantly, groaning as I ran my fingertips through my hair. I didn't need to get angry, the doctors said anger and stress can negatively affect my health, I don't need that.

I took a deep and long breath, inhaling slowly and exhaling calmly. "I just. .wanted to protect you." Tamaki watched me with glowing blue eyes, he was completely focused on me and my words. "I mean, there was just no point! Even if you knew it wouldn't make a difference, you couldn't do anything, no one can. It wouldn't change the results of anything happening right now, it would all remain the same. . .nothing would change. . .absolutely nothing. .I mean. . ." a tear slipped out my eyes. "Besides. .I'm still going to die no matter what."

Tamaki clenched his hands into fists.

"Don't say things like that!"

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer, soothingly rubbing my arm. Despite the complete heaviness in my stomach, and the fact that I was starting to cry, my heart was pounding violently against his chest. The embrace was warm while his arms wrapped around my frail body, the world around me melted away slowly as tears escaped my face.

I felt Tamakis hands rise up to both of my cheeks before he pulled back, staring directly into my eyes, never looking away, never daring to do so. "I'll do more. I'll pray more and every night, I'll wish on every star I lay my sight on , I'll do anything Haruka. I'll do anything to make sure you get well, we'll all do anything to make sure you get well. Do you understand?" he asked the question sharply.

I couldn't answer back, my mouth was too dry. I was filled with too many emotions, so many that I couldn't form any words at the moment.

"Promise me. . .promise me you'll get better. ." he whispered in a concerned voice as he wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"I. . . I promise." I croaked and he smiled, planting a soft and gentle kiss on my forehead.

If only I myself believed my own words . .