Love, Music, And Cancer | OHSHC

LMAC | Chapter Thirty-Two

---Chapter Thirty-Two; You Guys---

彼は私に話しかけなかった

(he wouldn't speak to me)

I squeezed my moms soft small hand as she gazed down on me from the hospital bed, a worried smile spreading on her lips. I couldn't imagine what she's thinking right now. .just imagining being a mother, watching my own daughter go through the process of cancer, it sends a shiver down my back. The word cancer twists my insides up, the first thing that comes to my mind is death. It's not the best thing that a cancer patient should think of, but when I was diagnosed with it at the age of 13 that's all that ran through my head. Death. Death. Death. That's all I could really comprehend at the moment when that sickening word left my doctors mouth.

I don't even recall passing out. I remember everything going black as if the world had been abandoned by electricity. But that's all, nothing else. So you can just imagine how shocked I was when I woke up in a hospital room, my mother laying her head beside my legs as she snorted lightly, my arms being injected with IV lines and along with the sharp sound of monitors beeping, following my heart beat. It was so sudden, I didn't even see it coming. It was as if I was drunk and multiple scenes were following my head at once, almost as if I had teleported from one destination to another on the spot without any exact memory.

I would have to break everything down to Tamaki and the others, no doubt about it. I was hoping I could keep it a secret and yet again a part of me knew that the consequences of having new friends would mean having more heartache. That's why I was so reluctant about meeting new people, I truly (and still) don't see the point when you know you're going to die. My head hurt at the thought of dying. What would it feel like? Heaven? Or hell? Just the thought of it does something to me. . .

Wait a minute. .Tamaki. .the competition. . the music hall . .thats today. . and. .Shido. .

"Dammit!" I groaned loudly, my head filled with frustration.

My mom jumped at my sudden outburst until she frowned, raising her hand and giving me a small thump on the forehead as punishment. "Ow." I yelped quietly as she sighed. "You shouldn't curse so much Haruka, you shouldn't curse at all." she said softly and shook her head from side to side slowly, squeezing my hand tighter as she spoke. She had been up all night with me. .bags were starting to create themselves under her eyes and it was the first time that I've ever seen her hair unkept, a few strands stood out in an awkward way.

"Sorry mom. .but I just remembered that. . Tamaki and everyone else are at the music hall." I stated. "Can't you call him? Tamaki I mean. ." she asked with a frown. Did she just assume I have his number? I mean I do but still. ."You have to turn your phones off once you enter the building. . .dammi-" my mom gave me a threatening look. "S-Sorry. ." I apologized and looked out the window, the coldness of the day creating a light fog to cover the window and blocking my view of the outside world. Weird, it's oddly cold today. .

She sighed. "Well maybe we can--" she was cut off by the door swinging open, I assumed it was my nurse so I sat up a bit straighter, so did my mom who even tried fixing her hair up in some places. But unlike what we had predicted it wasn't a nurse or anyone working on the staff. In fact, these people were too young to work at a hospital. They were still in school.

"Y-You guys. ." I stuttered as Shido and the Host Club gradually walked inside. "Shido!" moms eyes grew big due to her shock, her body starting to turn stiff as she stood as still as a statue. "Mother. ." Shido muttered lowly without looking at her, his focus locked on me. "What are you--"

"Haruka-Chan!" Honey wailed and ran quickly towards me, his large eyes filled with overflowing tears as he engulfed me in a large hug. "Haruka! Haruka! Haruka!" he whimpered and hugged me even tighter, almost like he was afraid of letting me go, like I would disappear once he did. I couldn't describe what I was thinking or how I was feeling at the time. It was a mixture of sadness and regret. "Haruka. .we were so worried!" he yelled.

His words held so much truth, so much meaning in them that it felt unbelievable. "We got so worried about you! So so worried! Then Shido came and he. .he. .he told us and. .Haruka!" he sniffed and continued to wail, I blinked a few times while I registered everything and then smiled before leaning my head against his. "Sorry. .sorry. .I'm a bad person for making you worry like that. .sorry. ." I said gently and he pulled back, sticking his bottom lip out and sheepishly wiping his waterworks on his sleeve.

I grinned and patted his shoulder sympathetically, he struggled to stop crying and laced his hand with mine, taking the place of my mother. "Haruka. ." I shifted my head to the left only to meet eyes with Hikaru, along with Karou. "Promise us something. . us all something. . ." Hikaru mumbled seriously, his eyes staring daggers into mine. "Promise us you won't leave us. ." Karou finished the second part of the sentence.

"O-Oi grandma. . . I can't swim. . so.  . . promise you won't let go?"

But you let go. .

It was hard for me to force such a convincing smile on my face. "I'll never leave you." I said which made them both smile at the same time, they were smiling so hard that I bet their cheeks hurt. "Pinky promise?" Honey mumbled and pulled up a pinky with his free hand. I wrapped my pinky around his own. "Of course." I whispered as Mori came up behind Honey, his pinky also being brought about. I chuckled and laced mine with his, but, not before the twins brought their pinkies out too, along with Haruhi as well. "Promise?" Haruhi said and I tried to ignore the fact that her eyes were red, red and puffy in fact. "Always." we all laughed after our little pinky session, Kyoya sending me a reassuring smile from across the room that I returned before he went to my mom, I introducing himself and most likely the club members while they chatted with me.

Shido watched me softly, laughing along with us if the twins or anyone else did something outrageous.

I tried to forget that Tamaki was here, that not only was he not smiling. .but he hasn't spoken one word to me, I tried to forget that whenever we made the slightest bit of eye contact he would be the first to break it, I tried to forget. .

But I couldn't. . .