Sudden Love (Old Version)

I am fine mum

Justin Bieber

It is Saturday today and I was sat in my room on the floor just staring at the blank white wall, I have been feeling more depressed than ever for the past few days and I know that I have reached some kind of breaking point and i don't know how bad it's going to be. 

Why did Jason call my mum 'Mum' That's my mum not his, not only is he ruining my life in school he's ruining it outside of school as well now. 

He has taken away my life and all hope or anything that I had and now he's taking away my mum too. I guess I deserve everything that I get though so i don't know why i am complaining, you cant really blame anyone for hating me because I bring everything I get on myself. 

If I wasn't so ugly, fat, useless, stupid, worthless and everything else that i am then I wouldn't be hurting so many people. 

Me not being in school has actually been quite nice, I have more time to think about everything, even though it always ends up with me having suicidal thoughts, which is not all bad I suppose, once I get the guts to do it I'm gone for sure and i know i have the guts to do it.  

My mum was so sad yesterday when I was there with her by myself but then as soon as Jason came her mood brightened and she was happy. 

That is also another sign that I'm a boring ass useless pathetic excuse for a son, I mean she cant even smile and be happy around me? That's just sad. 

It seems that Jason likes everyone but me to be honest, he was nice to Jazzy and Jaxon, I admit at one point when he was talking to Jazzy he stuck his hand out for her to shake and I actually thought that he was going to hit her, but he seemed to love her. 

When she said he was pretty I wanted to laugh but I don't know how to do that any more or what it is but I have to agree with her he is handsome but his personality rules over all that, he is a heartless monster, well to me anyway but everyone else seems to see him as this perfect angel that can do no wrong. 

My mum wants me to go the special hospital because apparently I'm anorexic which I don't believe one bit, she seems to think that they will help me but I know that they cant, I know I'm upsetting her, but I cant help what I'm doing, I try to be the son she wants, the son that I used to be before everything happened but I simply cannot. 

I don't want life any more, I don't want to wake up, I don't want  to be pitied, I don't want to hear my mum crying because of me, I don't want to be me, I want my mum to be happy, I want to leave this place and go somewhere peaceful, I want to be left alone, I want to die and one day it's going to happen. 

I shook my head and blinked a few times to come back down to earth, I looked around my room but even my room looks dead, I have the curtains shut so no light is coming in, there is just no life here. 

I started just looking around my room and read the quotes on my walls over and over again, even they don't bring me hope any more. 

I heard a knock on my door but couldn't bring myself to answer so i think i zoned out again, whoever it was stepped into the room but I don't know what is wrong with me right now, I'm in some kind of trance that I cannot get out of, It's kind of like a black hole. 

Pattie Mallette

I was sitting downstairs and decided to go and check on Justin because its nearly 12 and he's still in his room, so i stood up from the sofa and made my way upstairs and towards his room, I knocked on the door but he never answered and I got a little worried so I opened the door slowly to see if he was asleep or something. 

When I looked in what I saw made my heart break, he was sat in the middle of his room on the floor, the curtains were closed and it was dark in there, no light whatsoever.