Heart to Heart

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Justin Bieber

Jason shoved the cupcake up to my mouth all while pulling on my chin to try and get me to open my mouth and eat it but I didn't want any so I clamped my mouth shut and he ended up smudging it all over my mouth.

Jason pulled it away and looked at me innocently blinking down at me, "Oops." He whispered but I wasn't paying attention to that I was paying attention to how close he was to my face.

My eyes were wide and frantic and panic started to settle into my veins, my breath hitched in my throat and I heard him let out a little gasp that was barely audible but considering how close we were I heard it loud and clear.

Jason then started to lean in and I was frozen to my spot, I mean what else could I do?

He looked so certain with himself like he was fighting an internal battle of thoughts and then it was like his decision was made because he wasted no more time in pressing his lips to mine quickly, but softly and i could do nothing but stay frozen in my place as he moved his lips against mine.

My brain stopped functioning and I couldn't breath it felt like I was suffocating and the room was getting smaller and smaller and if my eyes got any wider they would fall out of my skull.

Jason pressed his lips harder into mine as if telling me to kiss back but I just couldn't, I mean why would I let my bully, the person that has hurt me the most, the person who has made me suicidal, the person who has made my life a living hell, the person who has made me believe that I am a worthless fat ugly piece of shit kiss me? I just cannot do it.

Tears fell down my face as I felt the feeling of claustrophobia taking over me and my breathing become irregular.

And I think he felt the tears because he pulled away and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and a frown on his face and I whimpered thinking he was going to beat me up because I did not kissed him back.

"Why didn't you kiss me back?" He whispered looking at me sadly but I couldn't answer because I was having a panic attack and I don't think he realized my struggle for breathing.

I pointed to my chest and he looked confused at me, "What?" He asked as I started to hyperventilate and then I think he caught on because he ran to the kitchen sink and got me a glass water, running back over to me quickly.

Jason grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room and onto the sofa then sat down next to me and started to rub circles into my back as I gasped for air and tears fell down my cheeks and I started to hiccup not able to catch any breath.

"Justin, come on calm down, It's ok." He spoke soothingly, but it wasn't working and I just got more worked up to the point that I actually could not breath and I could feel myself getting weaker and my vision starting to get blurry as if I was going to faint.

"Justin you're turning blue." He rushed out his hands flying around helplessly.

Jason got up and knelt in front of me then grabbed my face in his hands, "Justin look at me and breath baby ok?" He spoke softly.

"Copy me, breath in," He breathed in through his nose motioning for me to copy him, "And out." He whispered as he let the breath out of his mouth.

He kept on repeating it and doing the motion for me to copy, I tried as best as I could taking small breaths first and then started to take larger ones as I was calming myself down.

Jason was still holding my face in his hands and wiping my tears away with his thumbs softly as I could not stop the tears from falling, "You are doing great baby, your colours coming back." He murmured smiling a little bit.

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