Rose Gold Hearts

Chapter 19: Way Back

Sapphire
The hospital ride felt like a million years long. I looked over at Cinnamon and she was so blank. I inched over towards her.

I grabbed her chin turning her face towards me. Her eyes were red and tears were still falling. I saw the pain and torture that was going on within her. I knew her mind was already finding reasons to blame herself for this.

I gently pulled her head into my chest and lied back onto the seat. I rubbed her back and rocked her a little. Humming a random tune I felt her stop breathing.

Whenever she held her breath, that meant she was about to break down. All at once she hollered and began to shake. She sobbed and sobbed. Holding her tighter I remained silent.

Her breathing got unsteady and she started coughing violently. I immediately sat up still holding her.

"Listen sweetness I already know what you have going on in that big beautiful brain of yours but none of that matters right now. All I need for you to do is breathe do you hear me?

No response

"MONAE'! Do you hear me?" I felt her head nod in my chest.

"Breathe steadily for me. I'm right here I promise okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. Ben here. J here. We not going anywhere baby girl. I know this shit is tough but I'm here. "

Once her breathing got back steady I knew she was asleep.

Pulling up to the hospital, J picked her up bridal style again and I grabbed Ben's hand tightly. Walking to the ER section we gave them his name and sat in the waiting room.

I leaned on Ben's shoulder letting a couple of tears fall. This was one bad dream.

Cinnamon
I just got in the bed with my mom and dad. Mom was showering and Dad was in the kitchen eating as usual. I'm just late night cartoons. Even though I was 8 now I still slept in the bed with them. I slept right in between them where all the warmth was. Eventually Dad got in the bed and Mom got out the shower. It's like once she unplugged the lamp, I was out too.

While sleeping I heard the doorbell ring and seen Dad walking lazily to go get it. Falling in and out of sleep, I heard a loud bang and heavy footsteps running. I heard the bathroom door slam shut. At that instant I popped straight up in the bed. Looking to my right I seen my big sister crying. I was confused looking at her in this dark room. The only light was from the TV. Looking in front of me I seen a tall figure pointing a gun at us. Next to him another figure had my mom by her hair with a gun to her head.

She didn't seem to be panicking but then again I couldn't hear. Looking over to where the bathroom was I seen another figure and my dad tussling. My dad broke free and ran to the side of the bed I was on. The figure he tussled with stated he was tired of playing games and shot 6 times at my dad.

I was so confused and thought any moment my dad would be like ITS A PRANK I GOT YOU. But no one was laughing. Nobody was turning the lights on. The figures wouldn't take their bandana's off. Before I could panic, my dad's massive body fell in my lap across the bed. I seen all the blood. I seen the bullet holes. I was blank.

After they shot him they ran out and mom ran behind them. My sister began to scream thinking mom was going to fight them. Once she returned she picked my dad up and sat him in a chair to analyze him. Her nurse mode kicked in. She threw the phone at my sister to talk to the 911 people.

I looked down at my pajamas. Hello Kitty's white face was stained red. Once I registered that blood was all over me, I threw up. I threw up dinner from earlier that night. I cried because I was throwing up.

My dad is dead was the only thing I thought. He died on me. His blood is on me. I'm not supposed to see his blood.

I woke up in J's lap sweating as though I ran a marathon. He looked at me.

"Flashback?" He asked lowly. I nodded holding onto my chest.

He pulled me closer to him rubbed my back saying 'it's okay'.

My close friends knew my Dad got shot in front of me and sometimes I had flashbacks. They never made a huge negative deal about it but always comforted me the best they could.

One of my biggest fears was that it would happen again and Sapphire knew that. It happened again. The man I love was shot in front of me and I'm stained with the blood once again.

I listened to J's heartbeat allowing my brain to go blank. I just have to know my baby is okay. I have to see him.

Author's Note: this was sort of hard to write considering this was an actual event in my life.