Lifeline {joshler}

thirteen

tw: this is pure fluff i promise!

🌱

Once they returned to the bus, Josh sat next to Tyler again. Tyler stared at him, as though desperately trying to read something in an unfamiliar language.

"Sorry." Josh mumbled as he sunk back in his seat. Tyler almost didn't catch it if it weren't for him resting his head on Tyler's shoulder. Tyler tensed at the contact, palms sweating. Josh's eyes darted to the front of the vehicle before he began playing with Tyler's fingers. 

Josh fell asleep a few minutes after that. Tyler watching over him, chest swelling. He'd missed this so much, the feeling of safety and harmony that always just swept right through him like a cool breeze on a hot day. Tyler took in every freckle and wrinkle and scratch on Josh's face. He knew the exact way his chest rose and fell as he slept; open mouthed. Sometimes he smiled in his sleep, when Tyler first noticed that detail he had to do everything he could not to kiss him. As Dr. Kemp walked down the bus to check on everyone, Tyler quickly darted his attention out the window, avoiding eye contact. She eyed Josh asleep on Tyler's shoulder suspiciously but said nothing and returned to her seat at the front of the bus.

Tyler gently nudged Josh awake when they made it back to the facility. He looked up at Tyler guiltily before getting up and walking off the bus.

Everyone was stopped before they could go back inside, shoes, belts and ties confiscated before quickly being patted down. Josh was finished before Tyler but instead of running off he stood opposite him, holding eye contact with Tyler, anchoring him. He knew Tyler hated being pat down and he was there to make him feel safe, Tyler wanted to cry.

When he was done, Josh walked inside the building and Tyler was about to follow when he noticed Dr. Kemp giving him an odd look.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"Nothing. Just some of Josh's hair dye is on your collar. I'm sure it will wash out." She replied with a small smile.

Tyler flushed pink and stammered something about needing to go inside before practically running through the front door.

Once inside, he found Josh hovering as soon as Tyler saw him he began walking to his room, Tyler following behind. Tyler suddenly felt nervous as they entered Josh's room, but he wasn't sure why.

"Are we- We're okay, right?" Tyler stammered out as he sat beside Josh on his bed.

"Of course." Josh promised, holding Tyler's hand in his.

"Is it- is it because-" Tyler couldn't even finish the sentence without pain forming in his voice. He hated this feeling.

"What?" Josh searched Tyler's eyes for the rest of the sentence, dreading what he was about to say. Josh's heart was going a mile a minute. This boy was like a china doll, so beautiful but so fragile and he knew that whatever move he made next could be the one to shatter him. His heart almost gave out from the pain of the thought of losing Tyler.

"I told you. Everybody is the same. They never like me the same after-" Tyler trailed off, the words stuck like a lump in his throat. He thought he might choke on them.

"No." Josh said firmly, he put his hand on the back of Tyler's neck to force him to look him in the eye. "Don't ever think that. Don't you dare."

Tyler closed the gap kissing him slowly, but josh pulled back slightly. Tyler followed however, kissing him again, passionately this time. Josh reciprocated. Tyler's hands caught up in Josh's hair; red smearing all over his white sleeves. Their bodies pressed together. Josh pulled away more firmly this time, his hands on Tyler's chest to keep him at a distance, both panting furiously.

"I love you." Tyler breathed out.

Josh pulled away instantly, startling Tyler. He got up from the bed, pacing in front of Tyler, before turning back to face him. "You don't really mean that."

"What do you mean?" Tyler replied confused and somewhat humiliated.

"I'm not good for you Tyler. I shouldn't - you can't love me." Josh put his hands on his hips as he stopped pacing, a little out of breath.

"You know that's not true, why are you saying this?" Tyler was hurt and tired and quite frankly, pissed off and he could no longer hide it.

"We can't do this." Josh's whole body was shaking.

"Can't do what? Be together? Or love each other? Because yeah we don't have to be together but that won't stop me loving you, it's too late for that." Tyler got up, taking Josh's hands in his loosely. "There's no one else i care about as much as you Josh, you must know that. I don't care about anyone else." Josh ran his hands over his eyes as Tyler spoke.

"Tyler you can't-"

"What's wrong Josh?" Tyler cut him off, frustrated.

"You can't love me Tyler." Josh groaned, trying to remove his hands from Tyler's but Tyler clung tighter, holding him in place.

"Stop saying that, stop invalidating my feelings Josh. They're real okay?" Tyler said angrily, hurt eyes searching Josh's.

"They can't be because-because..." Josh couldn't finish his sentence. His voice rising slightly to meet Tyler's.

"Because what Josh? What?" Tyler snapped. 

"Because I love you too." Josh shouted back frustrated. He immediately realised what he had done and stepped back in shock.

"I- I can't do this." Josh fumbled, the tears had already crept into his vision -surrounding a shocked Tyler with a blurry border. He willed the whole situation away but what he'd said hung in the air like humidity. Tyler took a step forward but Josh moved back in reaction.

They stood in silence staring at one another, both blurry eyed, breathing laboured. Tyler's heart was threatening to throw itself out of his chest.

"I meant what I said, I'm not good for you Tyler." Josh resolved. "But that doesn't mean I don't-" He took a deep breath, "love you."

"You- you do?" Hearing the words again -when they weren't being shouted in the heat of an argument- made his heart start hammering in my chest.

Their faces were so close to one another, their bodies practically pressed together. Tyler's eyes flicked to Josh lips for a second.

"Then be with me. I don't care what you think is good for me." He said almost angrily. "I love you. I-I want you." He blushed at the last bit and that was it for Josh. He bit his lip as he saw Josh's gaze shift between his eyes and his mouth.

Josh put his hand on the back of Tyler's neck and guided Tyler's lips onto his own. Almost instantly Tyler put his hands in Josh's hair tugging on the red tufts pressing his body desperately against Josh causing them to stumble backwards falling on to the bed. Laughing giddily.

That night Tyler lay staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He flinched when he felt Josh absentmindedly roll over in his sleep and place his arm over him. Tyler relaxed again when Josh nestled his head in the crook of Tyler's neck, a warm familiarity washing over him.

He turned his head awkwardly so that he was just able to place a light kiss onto Josh's forehead. The gesture stirred Josh causing him to mumble out a soft, "Love you."

Tyler's heart skipped, this was Josh at his most vulnerable, his guard completely down and those were the words on his mind. Tyler closed his eyes. Tyler fell asleep surprisingly fast after that, considering how fast his heart was beating.