Lifeline {joshler}

sixteen

tw: lil bit of anxiety, mentions of potential panic attacks.

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On the way to the food hall Tyler and his family bumped into the Duns just outside. Tyler and broke away from his family to approach Josh.

"Hey."

"Hi." Josh replied as they smiled at one another. He suddenly remembered his family beside him. "Tyler this is my sister Ashley, and my mom, mom, Ashley this is my-" he didn't know what word was most appropriate- friend felt like a lie but he wasn't exactly able to call Tyler anything more. He settled on his name. "Tyler."

"He's your Tyler, now is he?" Ashley teased, causing a shaky laugh from Josh who blushed. His mother eyed him with a knowing smile.

Tyler smiled, "That's me." He hoped that his family didn't hear the last bit.

Ashley laughed as Josh's mouth fell slack.

"I like him." Ashley smiled.

"Lovely to meet you Tyler, I'm Laura." Josh mom said stepping forward to shake his hand. He hoped she couldn't tell how much he was shaking. At the sight of another parent Tyler's family came over to join him.

"Hi." Maddie smiled politely.

Tyler awkwardly introduced Josh and his family to his own as people exchanged handshakes and greetings.

"Why don't you sit with us, Tyler's told us a lot about you." Tyler's mother suggested, immediately hitting it off with Laura in that way all moms seem to do.

They all sat at a large table, occasionally Maddy would make small talk with Ashley trying to get to know her. While their moms talked across the table.

Josh sat next to Tyler, anxiously picking at his food. Tyler slid his hand under the table to link with Josh's squeezing his fingers comfortingly. His breath caught slightly when Josh squeezed back, holding their hands there.

Tyler only tore his eyes away from Josh when Zack started to talk about how the basketball team wasn't the same without him. He felt a pang of sorrow at the mention of his school and his teammates, he squeezed Josh's hand again by reflex.

"Maybe they could come with us next time." Zack suggested of some of Tyler's teammates, Tyler felt panic rise in his chest. His mother gave Zack a stern look.

"You- you told them I was here?" Tyler felt like he would choke on the words.

"No. They think you're at a training camp for college." Zack trailed off realising that his friends wouldn't realistically be able to visit.

"Speaking of-" Maddy began but Zack kicked her under the table causing the two to bicker. Tyler pretended not to notice they were obviously holding something back from his knowledge.

"Not here." Mrs Joseph said sternly, apologising to Josh's family for her boisterous children. Laura Dun simply chuckled and launched into an explanation about her own experiences raising four kids.

After a while of idle chatter Tyler's mom turned to look at him, he loosened his grip on Josh out of fear he'd get caught. "They said that if today went well then next time we might be allowed to bring a friend or something."

His mother smiled in a way that said 'isn't that nice' once she'd finished speaking. She searched his face for a reaction, obviously treading cautiously.

Tyler panicked at the thought of someone outside of his family knowing he was here. He already felt like he didn't belong, he didn't know if he could cope with people thinking he was a freak just because they didn't understand.

"Perhaps, we could bring Jenna?" His mother suggested.

Tyler's hand fell slack against Josh's at the name drop. Josh tried not to notice the effect the name had on Tyler, forcing himself not to read into the situation.

"She's worried about you." Maddy spoke up. "I thought you and her were close."

"We are- I mean" Tyler babbled.

Josh let go of Tyler's hand before turning his attention to his sister.

"She's my friend sure but I don't want to see her, not here." Tyler continued as he fought the feeling of the walls closing in. He gripped the table, trying to calm himself.

"Okay. It's okay." His mom said trying to soothe him. "We won't ask her to come, we'll tell her you're doing well and that you're missing her." Tyler gave a small nod, finally taking in some air as relief washed over him.

"Excuse me," Laura spoke up. "It was lovely meeting you but we have to get going now." As she got up she repeated how nice it was meet everyone, telling Tyler she would probably see him again. Josh and Ashley smiled at Tyler's family politely before they all headed out of the food hall.

"So what's really going on?" Zack asked quietly utilising the fact that their mother was distracted by Jay knocking his drink all over the table. Tyler jumped at how close his brother had suddenly become, distracted by Josh's retreating form.

"Nothing's going on?" Tyler lied, shrinking a little under Zack's intense stare, like it was threatening to cut him in half.

"Yeah, sure whatever." Zack eyed his brother suspiciously before turning back to his food.

Tyler saw Josh again nearly half an hour later. He'd been sat with his family in one of the relaxation rooms, it was quiet and full of comfy chairs. Josh had walked in most likely looking for some privacy but upon noticing the room was occupied he turned around and left. Josh was too deep in thought to notice Tyler trying to catch his eye, or to see the way he immediately deflated as he turned to leave.

"Where's the toilet?" Zack asked distracting Tyler.

"Just use the one in my room. Need me to show you?" Tyler mumbled.

"No I got it thanks." Zack replied halfway out the door already.

He immediately hurried after Josh before he disappeared into the maze of corridors.

"Hey, you're Josh, right?" He said patting Josh on the shoulder. Josh turned around confused, before recognising him.

"Zack?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Tyler's brother." He emphasised. "Look I don't know what's going on between you and my brother, but leave him alone." Zack spat.

Josh took a step back, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He hadn't expected Zack to be so angry at him.

"He's finally starting to get better so I don't want you or anyone else ruining it. He belongs home with us, his family. Not here with you freaks. So, if you do anything to set him back I will make you regret ever looking twice at my brother, got it?" Zack poked at his chest harshly, puffing out his chest to intimidate Josh.

Josh nodded solemnly, dropping his head in shame.

"Glad we have an understanding." Zack smiled almost tauntingly before turning on his heel and walking off.

Josh's heart hammered in his chest, he knew that Zack was right; he could be the thing to set Tyler back. What if he became the reason Tyler wasn't home with his family, living the life he deserved? He would never forgive himself.

Josh could feel his chest tighten threateningly, warning of an oncoming panic attack if he let this feeling spiral. He leant onto the wall to prop himself upright.

"This is all your fault". He whispered to himself, beating himself up. He needed to make sure he didn't do anything to jeopardise Tyler's chances of getting better, he had to protect the boy he loved, especially from himself.