Violet
The next day I woke up in Kyle's arms again, this time I didn't have any nightmares. I move over and yawn; I stretch my arms out and climb off of the bed and walk to the kitchen. I look the the cabinets looking for some food to eat. I found a box of pancake mix and settled on making those. Before I start making them I go back to the bed and look for my phone, until I remember Chase smashed it. I take Kyle's phone and try my thumbprint; it works and I play a playlist on his phone that says 'violet'. I expected it to be full of music that I like but instead it's full of sad love songs. They're great songs but they're also really sad. I listen to the playlist anyway and start making the pancakes; I make enough for Kyle to have some too. I also make some eggs to go with my pancakes because why not? I make my plate then Kyle's. I sit on at the bar and dig into my food still listening to the depressing playlist. A familiar rhythm plays and I recognize the song as when I was your man - bruno mars. I smile lightly to myself since it happens to be one of my favorite songs by him.
When I finish my breakfast I go back to the bedroom and Kyle is still asleep on the bed. I sit crisscross in front of him and tickle his nose. He swats my hand away and turns away from me. I hit his back and he gets up slightly delirious. He looks around a lot and tries to adjust to his surrounds and I let him. He rubs his face and looks at me.
"Morning, I made you breakfast," I say to him.
"Why did you hit me?"
"Um, because you didn't wake up."
He groans and gets up anyway. I walk behind him when he goes the the kitchen. He picks his phone up off the counter.
"Why is my phone out here?"
"I was just listening to music."
He shrugs and eats the food on his plate. I grab his phone and play games on it silently while he eats. He finishes his food and wraps his arms around my waist pulling me into him. He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck.
"thank you," he whispers into my neck.
I nod and wiggle out of his arms, feeling a slight burning sensation on my arms.
"I, um, do you have any clothes for me, I, uh, need a shower?"
"Yea go ahead and shower I'll set them out for you."
I nod my head and go to the bathroom. I start the water for the shower and set it at a hot temperature. I shower for long time; singing, thinking, just enjoying cleaning my body after a month of filth.
I finally get out of the shower, and Kyle laid out clothes for me to wear. It's just a fluffy cropped sweater and some short shorts. I put everything on and feel extremely insecure. The cuts that are in my legs are completely exposed, and the sweater lifts up when I breathe, showing small glimpses of the huge scar running along the small of my stomach. I wrap my arms around my body, mustering all my confidence and leave the little room to find Kyle and ask for bigger clothes. I find him in the by the coach doing push ups. I stand far away from him to not disturb his workout and watch from a far; the sweat on his back glistens in the light as his muscles flex at every movement. He counts is short quick breathes.
"55...56....57....58..."
He goes all the way up to eighty before stopping and wiping the sweat of his face and body with a towel. He turns to me and flashes a quick smile.
"I uh, need bigger clothes. d-do you have some?"
He gives me a once over with his eyes, his face dropping when he sees my legs. He walks over to me slowly and probes my legs looking at every cut. Some of them together spell out words like nothing, and worthless, but the one that occurs most is monster.
He looks up into my eyes," did he do this?" concern dripping through his voice.
"most of them, but the ones down here," I point to the cuts I made myself," Are the ones I did."
He lightly kisses the ones I pointed to, setting fire to my skin after each small peck. He finishes and gets of the ground, towering me at his full height. He encloses my hands in his looking into my soul.
"You're beautiful, no matter what, okay."
I nod and he releases my hands to cradle my face. I didn't know I was crying until he wipes the tears that escaped with his rough hands. There's a knock on the door and Kyle pulls away from me. I run to the bathroom as he gets the door. he comes to the bathroom after a few minutes with Connie.
"we have to go shopping. I'm getting married and you still don't have your dress."
I nod and get up from the ball I was curled up in. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and the two leave the room. I dress slowly trying to hear what they're whispering behind the door. I give up after putting on my shirt and just slip into the jeans she brought me. It's a simple outfit; a thin white long sleeve and dark jeans. I exit the bathroom and Connie takes my hand leading me to the door with Kyle trailing behind us.
"this is only the first step, we have a lot of wedding planning to do"
We exit the hotel and get into Kyle's car. He drives and we talk in the back.
"have you picked your dress?"
I ask.
"No not yet. I want to have the bridesmaids pick different dresses that all match my dress so it will be easier to choose a dress after all of their's."
"Oh, okay. I'm sure with u taking the lead everything will be beautiful."
"Aw thanks, but you're the maid of honor so everything is in good hands."
"let's go get that dress"
