Chapter 45. Family?

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I sat on the living room couch in silence as I waited for someone, Billy's cousin is gonna come and pick him up. Billy is in bad shape, so I just took care of him overnight, he didn't even wake up yesterday, he just slept the entire day through. I wanted him to stay in my house but sadly, I have no idea how to take care of him. I can't even cook! I just order stuff outside. I'm such a failure.

He insisted that he goes back home so I let him, he doesn't seem comfortable staying around my house for some weird reason. Billy said that I know his cousin, he said we used to work together. Maybe this is a chance to ask him the questions which Billy couldn't answer.

As for Jeff, well, he hasn't returned ever since he left. I hope he comes back soon, I haven't had the chance to thank him. I wonder where he is? I'm sort of worried, what if he got hurt again? In my opinion, I think he's the type to get in all kinds of trouble.

The doorbell rang and I immediately sprang up and hopped for the door, not bothering to use the crutches. I quickly opened it to see a young man with brownish, blonde hair that looks like the same age as Billy.

"Marika?" He mumbled and looked weirdly at me as he hugged his coat tighter.

"Ah, h-hi . . ." I awkwardly greeted, "You must be his cousin, James." I gave a warm smile and politely urged him to come inside. He just stared at me in a confused way as he went in making me grow self-conscious, "What is it?" I asked.

He slowly shook his head, "Nothing . . ." He mumbled, "You don't remember me either?"

"No . . ." I replied with a shrug, "Don't worry, I'll get my memories back. I'm sure of it." I grinned. All of a sudden, he shuddered, his eyes not leaving me, "What is it?" I asked.

"N-No, sorry." He sighed and looked down, "I'm just not used to you being optimistic and smiling."

"Really?" I quirked a brow, "What am I like?"

"Well, you're always so serious, you barely smile. You're good at your job but you're too devoted so I guess it's kinda hard to get along with you." He explained, "You also seem lifeless most of the time." He said as he looked around the room.

I frowned, "I sound like a douche."

"No, I didn't mean it that way, you just take things too seriously." He waved his hands and laughed, "You can be cheerful sometimes."

"Oh?" I grew interested, "When?"

"Well, sometimes I'd joke around with you and I usually see you become so happy when your husband picks you up from work . . ." He mumbled and stopped in realization, "Wait, you do know about your husband, right?" He asked.

I gave a nod, "Yeah, Billy told me everything." I shrugged, "Speaking of Billy, he's upstairs, resting." I informed, "Feel free to go upstairs." I added.

"Thanks." He smiled and headed for the stairs, leaving me by myself in the room.

He said I was happy when my 'husband' picks me up from work. Does that mean I really loved him? Well, I probably do since I married him but I don't remember him, I don't even know what he looks like. I feel stupid, it sucks. I even forgot the feelings I had for someone, I wasn't even sad when Billy told me that he and my family died because I have no idea who they are.

Most of the time, I just want to crawl in a corner, curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out. That's how I feel but the mature side of mine thought how useless that would be, it's not like crying will help me regain my memories back. I need to stay positive.

I wonder when will I get my memories back, I hope it's soon. Maybe I'll feel lonely once I remember their deaths but I don't mind, it's way better than being like this, it's better than feeling nothing.

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