Surviving

Chapter Thirty Seven

Definition of monster: An extremely wicked or cruel person

Rossana's POV

  I sat on my bed, staring down with my head in my hands. So many thoughts were clouding my head making me unaware of the people standing in my room. I look at my hands that still wore black gloves, and even though the red of the blood was dark, I could still see it. This is what i have become, a monster with no remorse, no feeling of sympathy. Why did this happen? Why were my parents murdered? Not once but twice, why? Why do i not feel remorse for the corpse i have taken the life from?

Its simple, i suppose. There are probably many words that can describe me; Monster, psychopath, unstable, such harsh words with deep meanings that should bother me, but they don't. Hands engulfed my own, making me freeze from the warmth that they gave. Such warm hands, innocent yet strong burned through the gloves. His voice was warm yet cautious, as if he was talking to a wounded animal that feared for their life.

"Rose?..." I kept my head down, knowing that i don't deserve such kindness and gentleness. He uses one hand and holds my chin, bringing my face up to look at him. His eyes showed warmth and love, but i froze as i saw the fear in them as well.

My voice trembled in a whisper and my heart ached at the statement that i wish the answer he will give me was right, "You fear me..." His eyes widened then narrowed and shook his head, "I don't fear you. I'm worried about you, I don't like seeing you upset and knowing that you will stay like this until you have HIS head." I wish so desperately that his answer was true, but the fear in his eyes is what made me not believe.

Noah's POV

  I crouched in front of her, holding her hands and trying to warm them. When Mason called me and told me what she did, my heart ached knowing that I wasn't there with her. I arrived at home with Jack and Sam behind, and picked up Sarah from her work.

My mind was too occupied to think about the trash in our basement. I needed to see her, to tell her i'm sorry for not being there for her. We know how she gets and i'm afraid that she might hurt or isolate herself from us.

Mason was standing in front of her door, and as I got closer he turned and saw me. His eyes were filled with worry and sadness making me fear of what i will see.

I stood in front of him then turned my head and saw her sitting on her bed, her hair was covering her face but i know that she was upset by how quiet she stayed.

Slowly, I walked up to her and gently wrapped my hands around hers. I could still see the blood on her gloves but i don't mind. I want my sister to look at me and show me some kind of emotion. Cautiously, so i dont frighten her from her thoughts i called her name and when i did, her body stiffened. "Rose..." She kept her head down so i let go of one of her hands and took her by her chin slowly to lift her head up.

Her eyes held so many emotions. Her pain, sadness, hatred and fear, yet when she looked at me her eyes widened a little and she stiffens as she whispered with a trembling voice, "...You fear me." My eyes widen at her words. She wasn't asking, it was more of a statement, like she could see all the emotions that cross my mind that i try so deeply to keep hidden.

Narrowing my eyes, i quickly shake my head no. "I don't fear you. I'm worried about you, I don't like seeing you upset and knowing that you will stay like this until you have HIS head." I can allready tell that she doesn't believe my words, and that hurt a little but I know that she cares for us and this is her way of coping, yet there will be no peace until that monster is dead.

  She wasn't going to stop this at all. Her eyes, and her voice say it all and when i spoke of him, her teeth clenched. I stood up and sat beside her and took her gloves off, placing them on the floor. I cupped her cheek and even though her eyes were staring at me, they weren't really looking. She was still stuck with her thoughts; the thoughts that were braking her from the inside out. Her body was still trembling as i wrapped my arms aroundher and held her.

After a while her breathing calmed down and i knew that she had fallen asleep. Carefully i picked her up and laid her down on her bed and covered her with her blanket. Closing the door i walked out of her room with my brothers and sister behind me.

Walking inside the basement i looked at the bloody body on the chair. His neck was cut open, he was missing some fingers and nails on both his hands. It seems that he was killed quickly, as i didnt see that much damage. It might sound wrong, but i have been around long enough to see that his was a peaceful torture.

Putting on the gloves, we grabbed the body and put him in a bag. Sam and I went to dispose of the body while Sarah, Mason and Jack cleaned up the blood and smell. After dumping his body under the water in a lake, we drove back home.

Our lives isn't going to be peaceful, we just killed a gang member and started a war. I won't let anything happen to her. I'll protect her, all of them. Its a promise that i intend to keep.

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Alessandro's POV

I woke up feeling refreshed after a shower. I kept thinking about Rossana all night, i just wanted her so badly to be in my arms and lay in my bed with her small body cuddled against mine.

Every time i think or speak her name this warmth ignites inside my body. Damn it! I sound like a f*#king sappy lovesick high schooler.

I need her. I can't stand not being near her, but those damn pictures keep popping up in my head.

Getting dressed and spraying some cologne, i go downstairs and grab keys to my car and drive over to her house. I parked outside and sat in my car just staring at the house. Taking a deep breath while stepping out of my car, i walk up to her door and knock.

When she opened the door, it was as if the life had been sucked out of her. Her face was pale, her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, overall she looked awful. We stare at each other for a while, none of us saying a word, but even though she looked like a mess she still looked beautiful.

Her dead eyes that held no life made my heart ache and as they looked at me, my body shivered at her stare. "Principessa?" Her eyes looked at my worried ones and just stared, it was as if she couldn't even see me, there was no sign of her seeing me in front of her. She was in her own thoughts, her own world.

I sighed, knowing i wont be able to get anything out of her right now. I rest my forehead on hers and look at her eyes.

"Why did you choose me?"

My eyebrows narrow making me have a confused expression. "I don-" "You know exactly what im talking about.... Why... did you.... choose me?"

All i could do was stare at her like an idiot becuase to be honest i dont know why. I dont have an answer. I cant say that i'm in love becuase love doesnt exist for me. I cant fall in love because being part of a mafia and having the company to worry about, doesnt give me time to have someone special in my life. Yet, Rossana is different. Just thinking of letting her go and seeing her in the arms of another man makes me go crazy.

Its crazy, but i have fallen for Rossana. I look at her and i know that once i say these words i wont be able to take them back. Looking at her i cup her cheeks, "I wonder. Why is it that whenever i catch you with another guy i feel rage. Why do i hate it when your not by my side? Why do i want to just hold you and never let you go? Why are you constantly on my mind? Why can't i keep you out of my head? Everywhere i go, no matter where i'm at, your face always comes to my mind. Your voice echoes in my head. I want to hold you and never see you cry. Your voice keeps me awake at night that it makes me go insane. Your driving me crazy Rossana, you're making me feel again.... You're making me fall in love."

Slowly i brought my head down our  lips only inches away from each other, as she stared at me with her green eyes wide from shock. Her eyes fluttered as they closed and my lips were finally able to taste her own.

I have fallen for Rossana and all i know, is that there is no turning back now.