Safe Haven (VKook - BTS Boys) ✔

Tricks

Taehyung

My body craved sleep. It wanted to rest, but I simply couldn't with my back hunched forward and my arms chained in the air. My breathing was still rigid, but it wasn't as bad as when I was first put into the cage. My eyes only stared at the sleek metal floor, never dropping from exhaustion. They stayed wide open as did my ears that were on full alert for the sound of the door opening or any footsteps outside of the door.

I felt as if I couldn't think or move after the earlier events, but now my mind was on full blast. It was racing with thoughts of what the boys would think of me now and of what they would have to say.

They probably wouldn't want to come near such filth; to such a dirty body or to something that had been taken advantage of and was no longer clean and pure.

Especially Jimin. He would no longer be able to calm my racing heart and shaking hands down with his simple touch because he would be too afraid he would get my disease just from simply caressing my knuckles with his thumb.

Jin would no longer want to give me his sweet and warm hugs that would calm me down in an instant.

Yoongi wouldn't even be able to look at me anymore.

I felt my lips begin to wobble, my nostrils flaring in an attempt to stop the tears from coming, but they did. One tear slid out of my left eye and trickled all the way down until it hung uneasily off of my chin before dribbling off. Then more came along with the first until I was full on sobbing. I went to cover my mouth, but my hand was pulled back.

Oh, yeah, I thought.

I was so cold. Not just on the outside with goosebumps rising on my pale skin, but on the inside as I felt ice slowly running its cold hands all over my intestines, gripping hold of my heart and shut it inside a cage full of fear and frozen anger.

I wanted to scream out how much I hated the world now. No, how much I've hated the world for a long time.

First, my grandma who I considered my best friend through all of my darkest days died when I was only 14 years young. A piece of me went with her.

Second, my father became an abusive drunk when his best friend Richard died in a car crash. He would always mumble how it should have been him that went so he wouldn't have to suffer like this.

Third, my mom shut herself up in their room when she noticed that my father was not only abusing alcohol but abusing his son. I had no help even though she was a witness.

Fourth, my dad got his wish. One night when he decided he wanted to go back to the bar to get even more shitfaced, he ended up drinking and driving, and, get this, ran over a bridge and drowned in the car.

Last, but not least, my mom committed suicide. She ended up going crazy over the years after my dad died. I don't know why she beat herself up over something so wonderful, but I guess it was not as wonderful to her since she didn't have to suffer by his fists.

But I wouldn't have changed a thing because my friends were always by my side to support me. Even when I told them I might have to drop out of school since we were struggling to pay for anything. Even when I told them we might lose the house and even when I told them I was afraid I was becoming like my mom because I had had five suicidal thoughts in the span of 45 minutes.