forever fades away

chapter 22

“What the fuck?! That’s a fucking bullshit call ref! Were your eyes closed! Damn!” Michael yelled out as the game went into double overtime with two seconds on the clock and Finn was fouled and the refs didn’t make the call. 

“Michael who the hell are you yelling at?” Maria asked as she and Rachel made their way into the living room that same afternoon. 

Rachel stopped dead in her tracks when she happened to glance at the television. There he was and he looked so good, she thought. She couldn’t help it, she should have walked right upstairs but her feet wouldn’t allow her, she needed to see him one last time. 

In the background she didn’t hear Maria and Michael arguing, all she heard was the loud cheering coming from the television, she stepped further into the living room. Now the camera had closed in on him about to make his free throw after getting fouled a second time. 

She could almost feel the rapid beating of his heart and how he always told her how nervous he was on that line and how the only way he stopped himself from passing out sometimes was to think about her. He would tell her that he would stand there and think about her being the only person in the crowd, the only person that mattered. 

Rachel couldn’t stand it any longer, she had already seen too much. She quickly turned on her heals and ran up the stairs to her room. 

“Oh yeah baby! They won!” Michael was cheering loudly and hadn’t even noticed Rachel leave the room, he was that caught up in the game. 

Maria came up behind him and slapped him on the back of the head. “Hey what the hell was that for?” 

“For being an insensitive asshole. How could you watch the game with Rachel here?” 

“Look Maria, I had the game on before you came home and you were the one that asked who I was talking to.” 

“I know but as soon as you saw us you should have changed it.” Maria hissed out trying to keep her voice low. 

“Well fuck me then Maria, I didn’t know that I couldn’t watch a fucking basketball game in my own living room!” Michael said rising from the couch to stand in front of her. 

“That’s not what I meant.” Maria finished flatly. 

“You are the one that put this little plan into effect and now you can’ t deal with the consequences, but it’s not my fault.” 

“I know Michael…I know. I’m sorry.” Michael didn’t want to argue with her, he loved her but she needed to mind her business, most of the time. So he just wrapped his arms around her and told her that things would work out the way they are supposed to. 

“What was I thinking?” Rachel muttered to herself as she tossed herself onto the bed. There were so many emotions running through her and she couldn’t grab onto any of them fast enough. 

She loved him. And she was so angry with herself for still loving him. She guessed it had a lot to do with the fact that most of the plans she made for her future involved him. And now she was living her future and it didn’t seem right without him. She was happy with her life, but could she be happier with Finn? 

The answer to that she already knew. Yes. Rachel knew she would feel complete, that’s the way being with Finn made her feel. 

The only problem was that although she knew she would be happier with Finn, he wouldn’t be having anything to do with her for probably another six years. Rachel felt helpless; she would not go to him. No matter what, it would have to be his choice. She would not allow him to see her broken, she let it slip once that night she was drunk, and she vowed she would never allow it to happen again.