forever fades away

chapter 40

They were both quite for entire the ride home. Finn was trying to prepare himself for what lied ahead. Rachel was deep in her thoughts. She was trying to guess what Finn's surprise was. She also couldn’t help but let her mind wander to the great time they had today. It felt like for a moment if she shut out everything else, it was only her and Finn. The way it should have been, she thought. 

“We’re here!” Rachel announced excitedly. Finn knew immediately that she was nervous. He reached out his hand and waited until she turned to face him. 

“It’s nothing bad. I just want to show you something. It’s something that I had made and…I just wanted you to see it.” Finn finished softly begging Rachel with his eyes to try and trust him. He could only imagine how hard it was for her to do that. 

“Okay. Let’s get inside then.” Rachel smiled genuinely at him and Finn  knew that she was letting her walls down a little. 

After putting their things down, Rachel helped Finn out to the backyard. It was huge and Finn suggested they take the golf cart he had. 

“It will take less time for me to take my debilitated ass over there.” Finn joked and Rachel couldn’t help but smile. 

“Sounds good!” 

“I’ve never driven one of these things before.” 

“Oh God! Okay Rachel just don’t injure my other leg and we’ll be good.” That earned Finn a slap on his arm. 

“Damn, I never knew how violent you were. I thought you gave that up after we went camping.” 

“Ha ha, Finn. You’re not funny. Now tell me how to get this puppy rolling.” After a few tries Rachel was able to get the cart going. He directed her clear across the property and they only stopped when they reached a wall of tall bushes. 

“This is it?” Rachel asked somewhat disappointed. Granted she wasn’t looking for the gold pot at the end of the rainbow, but surely she was looking for something more than bushes. 

“No, Einstein. Just get out of the cart.” Rachel had to help him of course. Then he led her through an opening on the side. Once they cleared the opening, Rachel was able to see what exactly Finn wanted to show her. 

The bushes had a purpose; they hid this from the outside world. In the enclosed area was a large fountain. It was by far the most beautiful and unique of fountains she had ever laid her eyes on. In the center was a stone statue of a woman, with long flowing hair and surrounded by flowers that varied in color, shape and size. Rachel stepped a little closer, she needed to see it better. 

Finn watched her with bated breath. Did she like it? Did she notice who exactly it was? He didn’t dare speak or move for that matter. 

When Rachel came to stand in front of the statue, she gasped softly. She covered her mouth with her hand and turned a teary gaze back to Finn. 

“Rach…I…” He messed up. She was crying. That was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t do anything right. 

“Don’t Finn. Just…don’t. I…it’s so beautiful. It’s perfect and…” 

“It’s you.” A small smiled formed on his lips. He breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t upset. 

“It’s me,” she stated in awe. “I know. But why?” 

“Read it Rach.” Finn pointed to the writing carved into the fountain. Rachel walked to the side and stepped a little closer to read. 

For the dreams I wished had come true 

“Finn,” Before she could finish he was standing directly behind her. “I had it made when I bought the house. I always remembered you, Rachel. You would always be perfect in my eyes. You would always be my dream come true.” He whispered softly into her ear. 

“You…said that you left me to play basketball. You said that, you left me to be a big star. What did you mean by that? Did you want to leave me? Did you think we couldn’t both be your dream?” Rachel couldn’t help the desperation in her voice. She needed to know, she ached for it. Finn saw the tears threatening to fall, she was so strong and he knew she wouldn’t let them go. She wouldn’t shed another tear for him and the situation he caused between them. 

“It was the truth. I left you to pursue this thing I called a dream. That was my biggest mistake because I had my dream. I had it in you. You were all that I ever needed. I should have cherished you Rachel. I should have held onto you and never let you go. But I didn’t,” he adverted his eyes to stare at some insignificant spot behind her. 

“Why? Why didn’t you? Why was it so easy to walk away? Why didn’t you love me more?” Rachel finished and finally her emotions took over and the tears began to cascade down her soft cheeks. Finn reached out and pulled her against his chest. His tears now mixing with hers. He pulled her away gently after a few minutes and swiped the tears from her eyes. 

“It broke my heart to walk away from you. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. And I never stopped loving you Rachel. I loved you to the point that it hurt, and doing what I did wasn’t easy.” Rachel could tell how sincere he was, that didn’t stop it from hurting. 

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of Rachel's cell phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Yes, okay. I’ll be there. Thanks.” Rachel hug up and Finn wanted nothing more than to continue their conversation, but it seemed as though she regained some of her composure. 

“That was my boss. I have to head back to Atlanta tomorrow.” Finn nodded his head and knew that this conversation wasn’t going any further tonight. 

“Okay.” Finn answered flatly. 

“We better get packed.” 

“Right.” Rachel then turned to leave and Finn followed her wordlessly. When the reached the house, Rachel turned to him and waited until their eyes met. 

“Thank you, Finn.” Rachel gave him a small smile before helping him out. 

The next day they left early in the afternoon to head back to Atlanta. They charted Finn's private jet and were in the air for a few minutes before Rachel spoke up. 

“Finn?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I liked being able to see your life in Boston. It’s definitely different and bigger than my world. But I did have a good time.” 

“I’m glad, Rachel. I had a great time too. But now we get to do it all over again in Atlanta.” They both shared a small smile before focusing there attention elsewhere. 

There was so much left unsaid but Finn was hopeful that he would be able to find the right words to explain to Rachel, why he did what he did. He wanted her back, he needed her and he wasn’t ready to let go. At least not without a fight.