forever fades away

chapter 37

“Rachel, what are you doing?” Finn  entered the kitchen on his crutches the next morning only to find Rachel in the kitchen. 

“What does it look like?” Rachel turned to the side to watch him cross the room and take a seat on one of the stools at the counter. 

“Well, it looks like you’re cooking. Why I ask? Because you know I have someone to do that for us.” He watched as she moved around his kitchen like a seasoned pro. He loved to watch her in the kitchen, hell he loved to watch her read. So long as he could drink in her site, Finn didn’t care what she was doing. 

“I know that, but I figured there are some things your cook couldn’t make.” Rachel said teasingly as she opened up the oven to check on breakfast. She was keeping it warm until Finn awoke. 

“Oh really? And what’s that Berry?” Finn loved how they were able hold a conversation now without everything being so tense. It felt great just to be around her again. 

“My French toast!” Rachel smiled knowingly and just waited for Finn's reaction. 

She made him French toast? The significance of French toast to Finn and Rachel was deep. It was the very first thing she cooked for him the morning after the first time they made love. Ever since then it was something they had always shared together. 

“Really?” He didn’t try and hide his enthusiasm. 

“Yes! I knew it would make your day.” Being with you makes it, is what he wanted to say but didn’t. 

“I haven’t had French toast in six years.” He whispered out as he looked at the plates she served up for the both of them. He hadn’t realized he even said it aloud. 

Rachel heard him however and she stopped to look at him in shock. Did she hear him right? Had he really not eaten this in six years? She couldn’t lie, and figured it was time for a confession of her own. 

“Me either.” She stated softly and then carried the plates to the table at the other side of the room. Finn watched her and he couldn’t hide how elated he felt that she had also kept that part of her sacred. It was something they shared, something that was special between the both of them. As small of a factor it was in the big picture, it gave Finn a little more confidence to move forward with his plan. 

“Thank you, Rachel. I know it’s going to be great.” Finn smiled as he lifted the syrup bottle and poured a generous amount over the toast. Rachel watched as he lifted the fork to his mouth and watched as he savored the taste of it. And it made her all giddy inside, just like it always used to. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Finn asked not trying to hide the amusement on his face when he caught her watching him. 

“Y-yes. Of course!” Rachel tried to recover but it was futile. She knew she was busted and Finn had caught her staring. She was allowed to right? He was a good-looking guy there was no harm in it. She tried to convince herself; the only problem with that thought was that there was a lot of harm in it. She wasn’t trying to give him mixed signals or false hopes, but how could she fight it? She did still love him, but she hadn’t forgiven him and she may never. That thought alone was enough to cause Rachel to crumble. Was this time going to be the last time she and Finn spent together? Would it be the last time she even saw him? Talked to him? Would it all end in friendship? Or in the end would they never speak again? So many questions and no answers for any of them. 

After a few minutes of silence, Finn decided to take the plunge and see if Rachel wanted to spend the day with him. 

“Rachel, did you have plans for today?” What kind of dumb question was that? She was in a new state by herself, what did he expect? He was about to retract his statement, but stopped when she answered. 

“I thought maybe you could show me around. I know I’m not going to be here for long but I kind of figured you’d want to do that.” Rachel shrugged. She was unsure of herself and she hated that Finn made her that way. Even after everything his opinion of her meant more than she wanted to admit. 

“That’s exactly want I wanted to do. How about we finish up here, get dressed and head out?” 

“Sounds great, Finn. But…” 

“But what?” 

“Do we have to take the limo? It’s too flashy for me and besides it’s just…” She couldn’t find the right words. She wasn’t used to the life of the rich and fabulous, it wasn’t her. 

Finn chuckled to himself when she scrunched her nose up in distaste and nibbled her bottom lip. He missed that about her. All the things that made him fall even more in love with her. He loved her mannerisms and had seen that she hadn’t lost any of them. She was still the Rachel he always knew. The Rachel he fell in love with. The only difference was that now she was also the Rachel who’s heart he broke. 

“Whatever you want, Rach. But you have to drive.” They both shared a soft smile as they finished up.