forever fades away

chapter 48

I really hope you guys like this chapter despite the beginning it does get better I Promise

The next evening, Rachel was still lying in bed. She had ordered take out and watched old movies, the really sappy ones. She figured if she was crying she should have more of a purpose than to cry over Finn. She thought she was done with that. 

At about seven thirty her phone rang and she figured it was him. It was now or never. They needed to talk and they couldn’t keep up the fighting any longer. She was so tired of fighting with him. 

“Hello?" 

“Hi, Rach. Is this a good time?” Finn started softly. He didn’t want to fight with her, but he needed to talk to her. 

“You left me Finn,” she whimpered out. He was not prepared for the conversation to get that deep that fast, but he was ready. It was now or never, he thought. 

“I know that Rachel, but I want to make it up to you. I just need a chance.” Finn pleaded with her softly. 

“Finn, despite the fact that yeah maybe I think you might deserve another chance. My heart won’t let me forget. My mind might but my heart is terrified that you’ll just turn your back and walk away.” 

“I won’t Rachel not ever again.” Finn swore. 

“I wish so bad that I could believe you. You don’t know how bad I want to believe you. I just…” she sighed and buried her head in her pillows. She ached for him but how did she just let it all go? 

“I let you go once and it nearly killed me. I practiced longer. I went to bed earlier. I did everything I could think of to help the days go by quicker. God Rachel, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t imagine that we got married and maybe we’d even have a kid. I regret it Rachel, but I know in my heart it was the best thing for you,” Finn confessed desperately. 

“Maybe it was, Finn. But my heart doesn’t see it that way,” she continued to try and muffle her cries. 

“I know. Rachel, please just give me this chance. Let me prove that I love you. That you mean more to me than anything.” He couldn’t loose her. 

“Finn…” Rachel sighed in agony. 

“Please,” he pleaded with tears evident in his voice. 

“I want forever Rachel. I want forever with you.” 

“What if I don’t, Finn? What if I let go of forever?” Rachel's stubbornness was rearing it’s ugly head and he knew that if he let it get out of control the conversation would be over quick. 

“Don’t say that Rachel. God please don’t say that. Tell me that you still love me. Tell me that you can let me back in. Tell me that I haven’t lost you…I tried so hard to live without you. I really thought what I was doing was good. I know now it was wrong and I should have given you the choice. But I already knew what or rather whom you would’ve chose.” 

“You,” she whispered out. 

“Yes. I didn’t want you giving up everything you’d worked for, for me.” Finn knew he was getting somewhere with her finally. He knew he had to tell her everything otherwise it wouldn’t work. It would never work without honesty. 

“Why? Because you weren’t willing to give up basketball?” Rachel bit out sarcastically. 

“No, just the opposite. If you’d asked me I would have given it all up. A part of me wished that you did before I went away to training. You didn’t…”