forever fades away

chapter 47

Once Rachel arrived home she quickly undressed and showered. She wanted to erase the entire day away. After her shower she saw that she had at least ten messages and she could almost guess whom they were from. 

Maria and Finn. 

Instead of listening to them she threw herself on her bed and tried to fall asleep. Unfortunately her phone would not stop ringing, for the past twenty minutes Maria’s number popped up on her caller ID, but Rachel didn’t answer. She would call her tomorrow, but maybe she should answer it, she thought. 

“Next time it rings I’ll get it,” Rachel mumbled to herself in the dark. And not unexpectedly her phone rang. Without looking at the caller ID she answered it, figuring it was Maria. 

“Is he there?” Shit! It was Finn. She was not ready to talk to him. But decided that he needed payback. 

“Yeah he is, did you want to talk to him?” 

“Fuck Rachel! Are you trying to kill me? I know I was an asshole to you but…” Finn trailed off. What could he say? He couldn’t get upset with her sleeping with someone else; they weren’t together so she had every right. That didn’t mean he had to like it. 

“But what Finn? You can’t stand the thought of me sleeping with someone else? Or the thought of me kissing and sharing myself with someone other than you? Because that’s not good enough, Finn. I deserve more than that from you,” Rachel whispered out softly. She didn’t want to fight with him. 

“I know you do, Rachel. But you won’t give me a chance,” his voice faltered and he knew that it was now or never. 

“Did you ever think that, maybe I waited for you Finn. I was willing to give you another chance, but you never came. That I laid in bed alone for months…years waiting for you to show up at my doorstep?” Rachel couldn’t help her voice from cracking. Her tears were falling steadily. 

“I…” Finn tried to say something but was cut off. 

“But you never did. You promised me that you would always love me, always be there for me, but you weren’t. I don’t know how to go back, Finn. I don’t know how to let go of the pain.” What could he say? She was right, there was no denying it but was she prepared for everything he had to say to her? 

“Rachel, I…” 

“I have to go, Finn.” 

“I need to talk to you,” he started. 

“Please Finn. Not today.” He had no response because the next sound was that of the dial tone. She had hung up. This was going to be so much harder than he thought. 

Don't worry this will be the last sad chapter..sorta