Fifty Shades After

Chapter 33

Ana POV

We start the journey back home to Escala. We are in the SUV sitting in silence. I look over at Teddy and see he has fallen asleep and Christian is checking emails on his phone. I want to talk to Christian but I am feeling very awkward. I am not sure what to talk about, I don't want to talk about my year with Jose yet, but I want to know what Christian has been up to. Since I was taken I feel like I have regressed back into that shy mousy little thing Christian met falling into his office and I don't want that. I want to be comfortable with him and talk to him the way we used to. 

"How have you been Christian? I know we didn't get to talk much at all, but I want to know what has been happening with you since I was gone"? He looks at me with pain in his eyes. "When you were taken, my world ended. All I could think about is finding you and bringing you home. I was afraid that Ted would have been hurt, that you would have died. When we went so long without any new leads, I began to fear you were actually dead. I didn't leave the apartment unless it was a lead to find you. Then when that woman came and said she had been told to bring me Ted, it was the first time I truly had hope you were alive. The note that came with him helped and we determined it was indeed Jose who still had you. Kate gave us a sample of his writing so that was a big help. But we never could get there before he left. He never communicated with Kate again after the phone call he made to her. She has been frantic since you were taken. She might feel guilty over you being taken". Hearing Kate's name pisses me off. She 'might' feel guilty I was taken? "Good I am glad she 'might' feel guilty. She should". Christian looks at me strangely. "Christian the night I met up with Kate it was to be her and I. She called Jose so we could all hang together. I told her I wasn't comfortable with him after that incident when you found me at the bar. She brushed it off, and left me alone with him. I texted Taylor to get me because she left me with him and I wasn't feeling comfortable. I walked out because I knew Taylor would make sure to be there quick. He followed me outside, managed to get me into the alley, forcing himself on me. I kneed the bastard in the balls getting ready to kick his ass but my head was slammed into the brick. So for me, I blame Kate a lot for this. I know its not her fault directly. But when your friend says she isn't comfortable you don't leave them alone. I may forgive her but its gonna take a long time. If she hadn't invited him, I would have gone home to you not been tortured for 12 months". By the time I finish my statement, I am crying. Christian pulls me closer to him, cradling my head to his chest. I breath him in and feel myself begin to calm down. "Baby I didn't know that Kate invited him. She didn't give us any details about that night. I agree with you, she is partly to blame, you don't leave friends in that situation. I also know that she is like a sister to you so will probably forgive her. If you don't want to see her, I will make sure that happens my love. I want you to be comfortable and safe in our home. You and our children, that is my main priority". The look on his face when he said 'our children' made me want to weep. He really has no issue raising these children with me. 

"Christian, I love that you see these babies as yours. I was afraid that you wouldn't want me or them when you found out. I admit, when I found out I was pregnant, I was hoping that the pregnancy wouldn't go to term. I didn't want children with him, or so soon after Teddy. I felt that way up until your mom gave me that ultrasound and I heard their heartbeats. I never heard that with Teddy. I also didn't want to raise them alone. I just wanted my life back, before I got kidnapped. But life works in mysterious ways I guess". "Ana baby, I can not fault you when this is something that was done to you. Would I prefer if you weren't pregnant? Probably, but they are part of you and Ted. I would never treat them badly or make them feel less than say Ted because they are not biologically mine. Mom and Dad taught us better than that. Its not blood that makes a family, its love and I love you so I can love them". After Christian says this I lean over and place a gentle kiss on his lips. "You are a better man than you give yourself credit for". "All because of you baby, all because of you".