I have a secret (Camren)

Let me love you (21)

NOTE: So... yeah... hehe please don't kill me. I'm so sorry, I know I haven't update in a very long time, like half a year lol I'm truly sorry. There are no excuses. But I'm really back now, since the other fics are all up to date with the Brazilian versions. So now imma focus my everything in this one, so y'all can go and reread it, because I'll be updating often until I finish it all. Once again, I'm sorry. Now enjoy this chapter ;)

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As predicted, I hadn't been able to sleep, at all.

About 5 in the morning, I grabbed a book and pulled out a chair, and sat down in front of the huge window in the dining room. I stayed there watching the almost nil movement on the sidewalk, and there I stayed until now, trying to organize my thoughts.

"You left me alone in bed..." Her arms wrapped around my neck, and then she kissed the top of my head.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't sleep, and since I was moving a lot, I thought it would be best if I came here, so I wouldn't wake you up again." I held her hands and kissed them.

"You couldn't sleep?" She asked, and I shook my head, pulling her around the chair so she could sit on my lap. "Why didn't you wake me up? We could've stayed up talking..."

"It's okay, it was good for me to think... I haven't thought about them in a long time." I said softly, hiding my face in her neck.

"I'm sorry..." She said, and I sighed.

"It's been a long time..." I murmured as I looked at our intertwined hands. "I was little when it happened..."

I closed my eyes and felt the memories invade my mind. Scenes of my mom laughing in the kitchen while my dad laughed along with her and shook his head. Scenes of them going to pick me up at school, going out with me... everything, everything came like a potent bomb.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Camila stroked my face and kissed my forehead.

I fell silent for a moment, I couldn't open myself up to anyone on this subject, not even to Normani and Dinah... It was kind of a forbidden topic, whenever they said something about it, my mood changed completely and I isolated myself for a while.

"No one in my family wanted me, only my grandmother, who after a few months ended up passing away, she was already sick. I didn't want to move to the other side of the country to live with my other grandparents, and they didn't even really want me... so I was placed in an orphanage." I felt my voice falter for the first time. Camz hugged me and hid her face in my neck, just listening to what I had to say. "No one wanted me." I laughed humorlessly. "I thought that there was something wrong with me, so I stopped eating to lose weight, I isolated myself and had to fend for myself." I took a deep breath, I wouldn't cry because of this subject again. "I got a scholarship in a great college and then dropped everything to start working."

We stayed in silence, we didn't dare utter anything.

It felt good to finally voice out all my displeasure and anger, for having been rejected by my own family, for my bitter life; in those words I showed my frustration for never having anyone who really wanted me.

Even after telling my story and venting, I could see that Camila didn't look at me with pity. I stared at her for a while, and let out a sigh when I realized that she was looking at me with a certain admiration, her eyes were a bit teary. Camz just stroked my faced, and I smiled weakly.

"It's their loss. Everyone who didn't want you, it was their loss." She ran her thumb over my lower lip. "Because there will never be anyone better than you to live with."