harder to breathe | seulmin √

filming

Harder To Breathe (ii)

“Seulgi'ah? Yah! Kang Seulgi!” Seulgi's mind just went back when Joohyun slightly slap her face. Like Seulgi travelled to different world.

Her face was painted with visible expression for Bae Joohyun, the older girl look at Seulgi with worried eyes.

Seulgi look so scared and Joohyun knows why. She knew Seulgi very well. 

Seulgi's never been this scared to the extent of being absentmindedly when Joohyun is talking to her. Seulgi is attentive person who look at you when you are talking.

Seulgi is never been so afraid to any other things but one.

Seulgi's afraid to be stepped out.

Sure Seulgi is a soft and caring little bear but they all knew Seulgi is the most competitive one among Red Velvet members when it comes to performing their songs and their career.

Seulgi gave her very best every time she's performing on stage full of people watching her to make mistakes.

She's trying and trying to improve her skills so people won't be satisfied on attacking her instead they will be proud of her, Seulgi just wanted for people liking her.

Seulgi's whole life revolves for training, practicing and promoting that's why every time they won an award, Seulgi's really happy.

Jumping and shouting when they open their dorm to celebrate.

But now Seulgi felt the competition, and honestly she really hates that kind of feelings inside of her. Its eating her and she's afraid she can't do anything about her fear because she's weak and can't fight her insecurities.

She doesn't want any competition. Kang Seulgi of Red Velvet, of SM entertainment, of her Family just wanted to express herself by dancing and singing but what else she can do?

She is an Idol and being one is already a competition. She's living a life in a universe that awards and money from music they made is the one that controls the world.

Reality strikes. Red Velvet needs to be competitive to retain their place in the music industry even if they wanted to just dance and sing their hearts out.

Seulgi knew that Joohyun knows what is her problem. Joohyun is her first best friend after all, She always tell everything to her older sister before they even debuted. Her Joohyun unnie is always there to listen but the older is so secretive about herself sometimes.

“Irene unnie.” Seulgi sad face is surely creating a bad atmosphere.

Both of Joohyun and Seulgi stayed, just looking in the big mirror. The other members are out for buying their lunch but Joohyun decided to stay, maybe because deep inside she knew Seulgi needs her.

Somehow Joohyun felt like Seulgi needed her the most when time like this is happening.

Seulgi don't feel her crumpled stomach the moment she heard the word lunch from Seungwan's mouth. Hunger never leave Seulgi's side but now? She doesn't have the energy to eat not even a single bite.

“They have their comebacks too Irene unnie, same with our comeback month.” Seulgi look down just to avoid eye contact with Joohyun in the mirror. She felt embarrassed of what she's thinking.

Seulgi knows how afraid herself can be when it comes to music things... It always happens, her fear of not having any single win or not having people listening to their song or she can't give her family a single cent from her hard work.

She believes that anytime soon other groups will rise and Red Velvet will be forgotten. It's always happen in the music industry—it never fails to predict the path of the idols.

Training and debuting then there's the Recognition, but not every Idol has the chance to be recognized. Then there is the fame that everyone wanted in the first place, but every star above has it downfall and downhills that will bring down the one on the top.

There's always new in the Kpop industry and they are awfully popular nowadays. They even compared to Red Velvet.

Seulgi's afraid that once their music is out to the market, no one will care to listen to them and just focus on the new groups and to the famous one.

“I know what you're thinking but what are you scared of!? We're still here Seulgi, it's not yet our end game.” Joohyun stated and looked slightly annoyed at Seulgi sudden mood. For Joohyun, It's time for the Seulgi to open her mind and leave her worries.

“Don't you trust your skills? Our fans? Us? Reveluv?” Joohyun questions more and it made Seulgi's head to down more. She wanted to cry, her tears are starting to fall from her sad and guilty orbs.

Reveluv? Seulgi forgot about them. She felt hurt and guilty for forgetting how lovable their fans is.

How powerful they are and how they still support them up until now.

Seulgi didn't think all this time.

She didn't think about their fans and supporters.

She knows fans will never leave them, they never did so Juhyun is right. It made sense, it indeed open her eyes and buried her fear.

What she's afraid for?

Seulgi's silently praying that their supporters will never give up on them.

“Unnie! I have good news for us!” Yerim hyper voice echoed to Seulgi's ears.

She's too hype for today but anyway Yerim is always hype everyday so, Seulgi wonder what is the good news.

“What is it then?” Seulgi asked the smiling sweet evilly maknae.

It looks like a really one good news because Sooyoung and Seungwan was smiling ear to ear walking behind Yerim.

“We're filming our music video next week!” Sooyoung said with so much happiness in her voice.

“Yes, you heard it right. Lee Soo Man sunsaengnim approved our place and probably announcing our comeback to the public.” Seungwan said with a smirk.

Seulgi can't help but to form a smile while looking at Yerim, Sooyoung and Seungwan. The three of them are so energetic and happy.

The excitement is clearly pasted on their faces.

Seulgi then look at Joohyun in the corner which is smiling too. Seulgi wish she could get that kind of feeling every time their having comebacks instead of feeling scared of losing something that is not permanently.

“Yah! where are we going to film the MV again?” Seulgi asked the four thinking if she can recall their past conversation.

She didn't know where the location is or if it's just a studio type of Music Video but she knows that they have their own concept and story line already.

Seulgi mentally slapped herself for not listening to the whole time after hearing Yerim and Sooyoung updated news about comebacks.

“You don't know Seulgi unnie? We're going to film our badass Music Video to PH!”

“Ah? what PH?” Seulgi is too preoccupied and yeah, dumb sometimes.