harder to breathe | seulmin √

if she is

Harder To Breathe (xxxii)
*for ű Peekaboogirl

She wants to sit beside him. She really do if she is a brat, attention seeker kind of idol and selfish.

But she is not like that.

So she gently taps Jimin's hand who is holding her lower shirt, but Jimin tightens his grip. Seulgi didn't know what to do and so she held his hand firmly this time and looked at him with pleading eyes. 

Why is he making a scene? Why is he doing this to her? Why in front of so many people?

Is he crazy? He's the one who's destroying their image and career! Seulgi is trying hard to protect both of them but It's looks like Jimin never wanted the same. Looks like he wanted the people to believe that they have something... that they are actually in a relationship.

Is this what Jimin means when he said that she can't stop him? Can't stop him from what? Ruining their careers?

If she has her own choices... if Seulgi is just another person, not an Idol, not a star and Jimin is just an ordinary guy? She will sit beside him no matter what will happen. She will lean on him, hold his hand until another morning...but she's not just an ordinary person now. They are both not.

"What's with him?" Jongin asked in a lower voice which Seulgi could only hear.

Jimin let go of her. And she's beyond relief. Seulgi sat beside Jongin living Jimin's offered to Hyoyeon who just arrived.

Seulgi just shrugs her friend's questionable looks and focuses on the camera in front.

This is the best way to ignore Jimin's stare. Her uncomfortable feelings are leading her to something dangerous.

She can't smile without getting nervous in front of the camera.

Camera is a bitch, capturing moments with lies and malice.

Capturing the right moment but ruining the massage of the images once it was posted online or outside of the memory.

Moments that are now a public property.

She's happy deep inside. That's a fact because the moment she accepted her feelings for Jimin she realized that she misses him a lot and seeing him now makes Seulgi's heart jump in happiness but still her worried mind eats her with limitations and cautions.

Seulgi knows that after this? News will spread like a wind that gives air to everyone.

She will get more hate again.

••

"Kang Seulgi!" Seulgi heard her name.

She was waiting for her manager to pick her up when Jimin called.

Seulgi ignored his call and pretended to listen to some loud music. She insert her earphones even if they don't have sounds at all and bang her head a little.

His voice is so pretty that when he's calling her name it was like a precious thing in Seulgi's deep heart.

But she needs to ignore him.

That's the rule. Pretend that you didn't hear him. Seulgi tells her mind.

"Yah! Seulgi." Jimin popped up in front of her, smiling at her like nothing happened earlier. 

Seulgi almost smiles with Jimin's smiling face but she acts as if she is surprised by his sudden appearance.

"Ah! Jimin sunbaenim." Seulgi bowed at him. Calling him a sunbae sounds not right to her. She wants to be casual but Seulgi thought being formal might lessen her feelings.

She is hoping for her acting to be effective. Seulgi bowed again and decided to walk away.

Seulgi look at the surroundings. Crossing her finger because she's worried that someone might see them.

You know? Spreading the wrong news and pictures of them.

Just walk Seulgi. Walk.

Good thing the place is favored by them.

Silent but calm, so no one's there to witness them when Seulgi was stopped by Park Jimin, but this time not in the hem of her shirt but because of a hand intertwined with her.

"Let me drive you home."