harder to breathe | seulmin √

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Harder To Breathe (xvii)

How to start a day without opening the eyes? Is it even possible to begin a day without doing anything? 

Then Seulgi lazily opened her eyes and stare at the ceiling. It was all blank and white but she's hoping for a start.

It's been a week and she herself notice that she's always like that, staring at the ceiling recalling everything that just happened.

Remembering the talk between her and Jimin. How both of them agreed to her plan.

Pretending and so far, the issue between them lessen. Seulgi actually think it worked but she doesn't know why she is not feeling any happiness at all.

"Kang Seulgi." Seulgi almost jump out of shock when someone suddenly talk out of nowhere.

Her small and monolid eyes got bigger when she turns her head to the side of her bed seeing Joohyun's back. 

"Yah! Irene unnie!" Seulgi shouted and brought herself to sit and hit Joohyun with a pillow but her Leader just laugh but it is still not facing Seulgi.

"What are you doing in my room? How did you get here?" Seulgi asked once again. She can't believe Joohyun was actually there the whole time, sleeping in her room. She didn't even felt someone beside her.

"First of all lower down your voice, you might wake them. We need more sleep." Joohyun finally turned to face Seulgi.

"I got here first last night before you decided to stop scrolling your phone and sleep. You didn't even bothered to look at me, I thought it was okay with you that I'm sleeping here." Joohyun reasoned out.

"I sprayed insecticide to my room and you're too preoccupied to notice me sleeping already." The older Girl added.

Seulgi tongue got tied, not able to say anything. Joohyun move and sit just like what Seulgi did.

"It's been a week Seulgi. Everything is fine now." Joohyun break the silence Seulgi created.

"I know and I'm fine now Irene unnie." Seulgi said with defensive voice. She wanted everyone to see that it was okay and she can handle things. She is strong and not easily swayed by negative things and feelings.

"What's fine with this? You always locking up yourself here in your room, You always holds your phone and reading all the negative news about you." Joohyun get up this time, slightly annoyed.

"I'm just playing games." Seulgi whispered her answer, guilt and sadness is eating her.

"Lier." Joohyun now looked at her with concern. "What is really happening with you Seulgi?"

Seulgi just shrugs. Pulling her knees with the blanket, hugging it tight.

She needs to feed herself with hate at the moment. She needs to take that hate so she can forget.

Forget what Jimin told her and what Jimin made her realized.

She needs to hate Jimin, it's the only thing that make sense but everyday she open SNS her tears always fall.

How can Park Jimin affects her that much? How someone Seulgi just talk personally months ago can do this to her?

Now she's crying not because of hate she gets from people but because finally Jimin do what they need to do and somehow it hurt her.