harder to breathe | seulmin √

move on

Harder To Breathe (viii)

BTS and other Kpop Groups arrive at the music venue and Seulgi can't calmly place herself to the side of her members.

She's nervous about the things she doesn't have control.

“Don't look Seulgi, there's a lot of camera here. Watch your every move.” Joohyun whispered with authority in her voice, Joohyun knows what is happening and the Leader is using her power to be firm and bossy to a situation that needs a ruler and organizer.

Bae Joohyun is always that kind of girl when in terms of being the Leader of Red Velvet, love to boss around but always calm when riot and misunderstanding is coming.

Seulgi knows that the older is affected too if the members like her are in trouble. Not just because she's the Leader but because they are friends and they treat each other like a family.

For Red Velvet situation the dating issue is kinda win-win. Seulgi gain more attention because of that, Red Velvet name was in the line of news nowadays but Seulgi is not happy about it, she never was.

She wants to gain attention because of her appearance, skills and performance not because of a dating issue.

Because first of all dating never cross her mind.

“BTS! BTS! BTS!”

The whole music show are hype because of BTS presence and it made Seulgi more uncomfortable.

Is there any Reveluv here? Seulgi wondered.

BTS is really popular among the other groups in the show. There's a lot of their supporters surrounding the area, shouting seven names.

“Jimin! Jimin! Jimin! Jimin!”

Seulgi close her eyes. He heard his name again. It was so loud.

She won't look. She won't look, she keep on saying that to herself.

Seulgi's mind is in chaos right now. It's like there's a recorder in her mind that keeps on saying to look at him.

Look at him.

There's no way that she would look at Park Jimin.

Of course I won't. Seulgi arguing with her mind again.

Seulgi knows how a camera works. One little move might change her career. She can't even pick her nose when it's itchy. 

Seulgi won't let them have the satisfaction of tearing her name and her dream when she and Red Velvet where climbing to the top.

Is she regretting being an idol? Seulgi does sometimes—sometimes she wish she's not a celebrity.

Sometimes she wish she is just a normal girl laughing louder without even care if she's too loud.

Sometimes she wishes she is just Seulgi, the kind of Seulgi that will smile without fear of getting lost.

The whole time BTS is performing Seulgi was just looking at Joohyun, the older girl is a pretty sight anyway and sometimes when Seulgi is stressed out, she have this habit of looking at Bae Joohyun.

Seulgi wanted to like Joohyun. Smart, fierce and elegant.

The Leader just smiled at her, knowing that Seulgi is doing it on purpose just to distract herself.

“We're next. Come on Seulgi, relax.” Joohyun tap her shoulder.

Seulgi let a deep sigh. She really wants to slap herself because she's too affected.

One of her bad traits is that she can't move on easily from the things that she keep on thinking.

She always over think.

Why? When? Who?

Is he also bothered by the issue? Is he not comfortable that they were in the same place?

Is she's the only one that thinking too much?  

Seulgi can't move on, she hates herself for minding simple things and make it a big for her own good.