Flesh and Blood

That Laugh

""Hello?"

"I need to talk to you. It's urgent."

The voice faded and everything went dark

"Can you meet me somewhere?"

"Sure. Park?"

"Yeah that'll be fine."

My stomach was in knots the entire drive. We hadn't talked in nearly 10 years let alone see each other. I lit a cigarette and took a deep drag and held it letting the smoke slowly escape. Why was I so nervous? I pulled into the parking lot and got out and made my way over to the gazebo where we'd met so many times before. I leaned against the table patiently waiting while finishing off my cigarette. I didn't have to wait long. I took my last drag and stomped out the rest before she made her way to the door. She hadn't changed much. She smiled and I opened my arms inviting her for a hug. She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair, closed my eyes and smiled as I held her tight. 

"I missed you Jon"

"I missed you too Savannah. Why'd you want to meet me here?"

She sat down "I just needed someone to talk to. I don't have anyone who understands like you do."

"Savannah you have your husband and your son. You don't need me to talk to"

"My husband doesn't understand Jon. He thinks I should just forget about her and move on. Don't you ever think about her? Or is he right?"

"He's right in some ways. I don't think it's fair to ask you to forget about her, but you do need to find a way to move on Savannah. I know you feel guilty for giving her up, but we had to. We did the best we could. We were so young Savannah and neither of us were in a position to raise a child.  You know that.  He doesn't understand because he's never had to do what we did. He doesn't know how it feels. Really...he should keep his opinion to himself."

"You didn't answer my question...don't you ever think about her?"

"Every once in a while. If I have too much time to sit and think about it then yes."

I opened my wallet and pulled out the folded, slightly faded 4x6 picture "She's always with me. I don't have to think about her all of the time."

"Do you still love me Jon?" 

She got up and stood in front of me and I half smiled

"I'll always love you Savannah. I told you that when I left. We have a special bond that no one would understand."

I felt a shake on my shoulder and I shot up. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I'd just been exhausted lately. I looked up to see Colby staring at me and I half smiled. 

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Just really tired and having one of those dreams that's actually a memory of something that happened."

"Savannah?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you ever marry her?"

I half smiled "Wrong place, wrong time in our lives. You wouldn't understand and you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

I stood up and we made our way out to the table to sign autographs and take pictures. There was quite a crowd this time. The last time I did one of these things there wasn't as many people. I enjoyed doing these things. I liked meeting the fans even though I probably looked bored to tears half of the time. Last time I did one of these was the day I found out Savannah had died. I tried to suck it up and continue, but I couldn't. 

The crowd was moving along pretty well and then I heard a girl laughing. It messed with my head and I actually paused mid sentence to listen. I would look up every so often to figure out where it came from, but I couldn't tell. I kept hearing it and it sounded so much like Savannah it was messing with me. I tried to ignore it and keep my focus on the fans and what I was doing. 

Laughing "My boyfriends name is Seth too"

I shot my head up and looked over to the left. I could SWEAR that was Savannah talking. There was a taller, dark haired guy standing in the way and I couldn't see. They made their way down to Graves and I finally saw her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her...I knew who she was immediately. A million things started flooding into my head at once. I wanted to reach across the table and hug her and never let go, but she had no clue who I was and that'd be kind of weird. They finally reached me and I didn't know what to say. I was actually nervous, my palms started to sweat and my heart was pounding in my chest. I looked up at her and it was like the air had been sucked from my lungs. She looked just like Savannah, but she had my eyes and they sparkled when she smiled. 

"HI" 

She was grinning at me

"Hey. What's your name?"

"Cassie and this is my boyfriend Seth. 

I started to sign the picture and wound up eaves dropping on their conversation

Seth: "So you like your early birthday present?"

"Yes. Thank you. This was fun. You were right."

"When's your birthday?"

"December 7th....so Sunday! I'll be 16"

"That's my birthday too"

"Really? Well, happy early birthday"

"Thank you.  Happy birthday to you too."

She giggled "Thank you. Can I take a picture with you so I can hang it up and say that you're my birthday buddy?"

I laughed a little "Sure"

I let her come around for the picture. Her boyfriend went to take the picture and stopped and started to lower his camera a bit. He was staring and I started to get nervous...he had figured it out. Luckily she hadn't yet.

"Seth...hello? take the picture!! Oh my God stop wasting his time!"

He quickly took a picture and she turned back and smiled "Thank you!!"

They turned and started to leave. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I couldn't believe that I randomly ran into my daughter. I wanted to just run after her and tell her the truth, but it wouldn't have been a good idea. She was so much like her mom I couldn't believe it. I had waited for so long. I didn't think I'd ever get to see her again after I closed the adoption. Maybe I should consider reopening it.