Flesh and Blood

Lets Take A Walk

I felt really bad about doing this to her. Something was obviously wrong and she was obviously upset about it. I wish I had time to sit and talk to her about it. I hated to see her so sad and I wanted to fix it. I looked in the back seat and she had fallen asleep holding something in her hand. I carefully tugged at it and pulled it up to the front. I looked down and smiled and ran my finger across the picture. I had forgotten about this picture. They looked so much alike.

"Whatcha got there?"

I held up the picture for him to see quickly

"Savannah?"

"Yeah. I had forgotten about this picture. I wonder how she got a hold of it."

"I wonder what's going on that made her do all of this"

"I don't know. I wish I could find out what's wrong. Something is up"

"She's lost a lot of weight...did you notice that?"

"Yeah I did. Like I said...I know there's something going on."

"Well, you know...she's here...find out"

"I can't. I wasn't expecting to have any kind of lengthy conversation about things until she was 18"

"BUT you can't change the fact that she's here and she wants to talk now. You kind of shot yourself in the foot when you sent her that Christmas gift and told her you wanted to talk. You owe it to her to sit down and at the very least find out why she came all this way."

Colby was right, but I just wasn't ready.  I was scared to sit down and talk. I didn't want to say or do the wrong thing and hurt her. I never expected to have to do any of this. For a long time I thought for sure she was never going to find out she was adopted and then after a while I held out hope of a slight chance that she'd come looking but not right now. I looked in the back seat and she was still asleep, cuddled with the bear I gave her. I smiled and turned back around. I was stressed out and nervous. I knew I had to sit down with her. I knew there was no getting around it. I just really hoped she was able to understand and didn't wind up hating me in the end. I ran my fingers through my hair and put my head back and closed my eyes

"Savannah?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever get the feeling the White's don't really want to do this? Or like they don't like you?"

"No, why?"

"I don't know. Richard gives off a weird vibe like he doesn't really want to adopt the baby.  He acts like he's only doing it because Nancy wants him to.  And I feel like they don't like me very much. I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"I think that's just in your head. Every time I talk to them they seem really excited and happy to be doing this. I think this is just you, deep down, trying to tell me you want to keep her."

"No, I really don't think Richard wants to do this. Seriously. I feel like he's only doing it because Nancy wants him to.  I don't want him to hate her or whatever because she's not his.  What if she ends up like me? Overly opinionated, cocky, loud, defiant? I would hate for them to be mean to her because of it."

She giggled a little bit "Jon, I'm sure she'll probably pick up SOME of your traits. But I think it'll be fine. Richard and Nancy already love her. They're not going to treat her like shit just because she gets a little attitude."

I felt a poke on my arm and I sleepily lifted my head and looked over at Colby. He pointed to the back and I turned to see Cassie staring out the window, crying. I sighed and decided I had to just suck it up and do it