Flesh and Blood

Happy? Birthday

"Well don't sound too excited birthday boy!!!"

"Don't worry I won't"

I closed my eyes and Savannah was gone. When I opened them again I was sitting on a hospital bed holding Savannah as she cried

"We made the right decision right? This wasn't a mistake right? Please tell me we did the right thing!"

I held her close and gently stroked her hair. I quickly wiped my cheek on my sleeve. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much for either of us. This was supposed to feel right.  Then why does it feel like a huge mistake?  I cleared my throat and sniffed loudly causing her to lift her head and look at me...which I didn't want

"We did the right thing. We made the right decision"

I didn't sound convincing at all. I couldn't even convince myself of what I was saying...how could I expect her to believe it?  She reached up and wiped my cheek as I put my head down.

"Jon?"

I looked up at her

"Um....I know you have to leave soon. I...I just...I just wanted...thank you. You know...I know this has been hard on you..."

"....it's been hard for you too"  I mumbled

"I just...I...thank you for staying and helping me through this. You didn't have to at all and I really appreciate it. I just wanted to tell you before you go that I love you. I love you with all my heart and I always will"

"I love you too Savannah. I love you very much. We share a special bond that no one will ever understand"

"Happy Birthday baby!"

I felt a shake on my arm. I opened an eye and looked over

"Shit" I mumbled realizing I apparently spent the night with Summer Rae

"Baby it's your birthday"

"No shit. And don't call me baby...I'm not your baby."

"Jesus Jon. Grouchy today?"

"I want to be alone. Seriously...get out. I'm not in the mood."

"Seriously?"

"Yes...seriously. I don't like spending my birthday with anyone. I'd rather be alone...get...out"

She collected her belongings and slammed the door. FINALLY I could be alone...the way I like it. I got up and took a shower and went outside to smoke a cigarette. I came back in and sat down on the couch and ran my fingers through my hair. I wish I could stop dreaming all of these memories about Savannah and Cassie. I'm not a big believer in this crap, but maybe it's Savannah telling me I need to talk to Cassie. I don't know.  I shook my head in annoyance and got up and grabbed a beer from the fridge. It was a little early to start drinking, but I wasn't going anywhere today so it didn't matter. I looked around the room and pulled out one of Savannah's photo albums she made and sat down. I started flipping through the pages as I drank. I set the beer down and closed the book and sat back on the couch.  This is stupid, I thought to myself as I sat here staring at the closed album. I looked over at the side table and grabbed my wallet and pulled out the faded, folded 4x6 photo of me holding Cassie. I stared at it and half smiled, finishing off my beer and grabbing another. 

"Happy birthday kiddo" I said as I put the picture back in my wallet.

I sat there for a while just kind of thinking about things and wondering what Cassie was doing. My guess is she's probably doing some birthday party with her friends. 

Cassie's POV:

"Cassie please open the door.  You've been in there for 2 days now. Don't you think it's time to come out?"

I haven't left my room since the big blow up fight with my dad. I just wanted to be left alone. It was obvious I wasn't wanted and that all I ever did was disappoint and cause problems. Travis has been the only one trying to get me to come out. My mom hasn't even tried and  I don't know if that's because my dad told her not to or because she shares my dad's feelings. I was lost and alone. I didn't have Seth anymore and after his picture text I haven't heard from him and he won't answer back. I thought about sneaking out, but I've never been any good at climbing from high up. 

I sat in the middle of my bed and stared out the window. I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't even cry anymore. I didn't even care about finding my birth parents anymore. That didn't matter to me anymore. Obviously they didn't want me. How come nobody wants me? Something to ponder later I suppose. There was a knock on the bathroom door and I wasn't going to get up and answer it. It's not like I could go anywhere...I was grounded until the end of time. 

"Cass...please."

"Go away Travis."

"Cassandra come on. Please talk to me."

I sighed in annoyance and went over and unblocked the door and let him in. I went back to sitting in the middle of my bed, staring out the window. 

"Cassie...they don't hate you. And I know your birth parents didn't hate you either. He shouldn't have said that to you."

I didn't answer or say anything I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to stare outside. 

"Cassie...come on....talk to me. Please. They love you Cass they're just really frustrated with your attitude and behavior lately. Try to understand how you constantly talking about your real parents makes them feel. You can't do anything until you're 18 anyway so you might as well make the best of what you have right now."

He got up and left the room. I turned to make sure he was gone before laying down in a ball and crying. I just wanted to get out of here and find them and ask them why. I just wanted them to acknowledge that I exist. I reached over to the nightstand and opened the picture message from Seth and stared at the picture he took. I wiped my eyes and pulled my baby picture from under my pillow and stared at it. I put the pictures side by side and smiled. Seth was right. I needed to find a way to get access to the internet. I didn't care what it was going to take. I was going to find him again because he could lead me to my mom too. I tucked the baby picture back under my pillow and stared at the picture on my phone for a little while longer. 

"Happy birthday dad"