Flesh and Blood

Christmas Day

I woke up and sat up in bed. It was Christmas Day and I was really excited. I loved the holidays. Usually our family would get up early and have breakfast and open presents. The fireplace would be going, Christmas music in the background...it was the best. As I got older I realized it seemed more like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine, but I didn't care...cheesy or not it was always fun. I pulled up the picture on my phone and smiled

"Merry Christmas."

I can't tell you what possesses me to talk to a picture on my phone, but it was all I had. I'd tell him in person if he were here. I walked out of my room and heard a bunch of commotion downstairs. I peered over the banister to see my family sitting in the living room together about to open gifts without me. No one bothered to wake me up for breakfast or anything. If I hadn't randomly woken up I would've missed everything. I went down the stairs and sat in the big chair and crossed my legs in front of me. No one said a word to me. I sat and watched as everyone opened their presents and waited for for my turn. There was a box under the tree that hadn't been touched. I had my eye on it. It had white paper with sparkling snowflakes on it and a gold ribbon and bow. I kept waiting for someone to do something with it, but no one did and I couldn't figure out why. I waited patiently for my turn to open gifts, but quickly noticed that I didn't have anything and it made me sad. Zack got up and took the box with the gold bow and handed it to me and I grinned from ear to ear at it, until my dad took it from me. I looked up confused and suddenly an argument between my parents started

Mom: "Just let her have the box. It's just a gift."

Dad: "It's not JUST a gift. You know why she can't have it"

"It's ONE box...it's not going to hurt anything."

"There's not supposed to be any contact...what's changed suddenly in 14 years?"

"Just give it to her Richard. You wouldn't let us buy her anything. She's sat here all morning...just give her the damn box."

I figured out immediately who it was from and now I wanted it even more. Travis ushered Zack and I upstairs...trying to shield us from the argument like we were little kids. I didn't care. I just wanted the box. They could argue all they wanted, but in the end that was MY box from MY dad and I wanted it. I sat in my room and waited for them to stop arguing. They never really argued when I was growing up and I was starting to realize that the tension in this house was my fault. I heard it go quiet and something drop outside my door.

I walked over and opened the door and saw the box on the floor. I bent down to pick it up and saw a pair of feet in front of me. I looked up and saw my mom standing there. She smiled and picked up the box and handed it to me. I stood there waiting for permission to do something with it

"Cassie you can open it. It's yours"

I carried it over to my bed and sat down. I was almost afraid to open it. My mother came over and sat next to me and smiled. She tucked my hair behind my ear and put her hands in her lap. She waited for me to open it but I felt guilty doing it in front of her

"Do you know who this is from?"

I nodded

"Is there anything you want to know?  I won't tell you where he lives or his name or anything, but I can answer other stuff"

"Did they really hate me?"

She shook her head "No, not at all. They loved you very much Cassie. They just couldn't keep you. They were both so young and weren't ready. They wanted you to be happy and have a life they couldn't give to you." 

I nodded again. It made me feel a little better knowing that their hearts were in the right place. 

"Cassie...you have every right to feel confused and hurt. But he didn't mean it when he said he hated you. We're all just very frustrated with how your attitude has changed. You're not the same sweet, funny and loving girl you were and the last few years have been very hard on us. What changed?"

"Zack and Travis told me I was adopted. All I want is to find my parents.  The more time goes by the more I realize that I'm not one of you and that I don't belong here.  Ever since I found out I feel so lost, confused, abandoned and unloved. I just feel like there's a life out there that I was meant to live that I'm not living here. I know my dad's name is Jon. I've met him before. A few weeks ago. It wasn't on purpose or anything.  I didn't even know. Seth figured it out."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"No. Just happy birthday and said hi. He was really nice. He took a picture with me"

"Well, maybe one day you'll see him again.  In the meantime you need to just accept that things are the way they are. You have to stay here. You can't just up and decide to leave or do whatever you want just because you're adopted. We're still your parents and until you're 18  you have to listen to us."

"Can I still see Seth?"

"No. You understand why don't you?"

I nodded. She patted my knee and left the room. I turned and looked at the box. I was excited and carefully removed the bow and ribbon. I stared at it for a minute before continuing on. 

"Just open it already"

I turned to see Travis standing in the doorway of the connecting door and smiled

"Should I?"

"Yes, you should"

I tore into the paper and opened the box. I grinned at the contents inside. I pulled out the teddy bear and hugged it and set it on my lap as I pulled out an envelope and long blue box and set them on the bed while Travis set aside the box everything came in. 

"Which should I open first? Envelope or blue box?"

"Do the box first cuz what if something in the envelope gives away what's inside?"

I slowly opened the box and gasp. I took the bracelet out of the box and stared at it. This was the nicest gift I've EVER been given and is the nicest thing I own!! I held out my wrist and handed it to Travis 

"Please put it on"

"Wow Cassie. That's really nice and probably very expensive. Don't lose it"

I smiled and took the envelope and opened it. Inside was a card and two tickets to Raw when it's in Indianapolis. I put the tickets on the bed for a minute and opened the card

Merry Christmas Cassie

I'm sure by now you know the truth. There's so much that I want to say and maybe someday we can talk. I really hope you like the bracelet and I thought maybe you would want to bring your boyfriend to the show. I'm so glad that I was able to see you and briefly talk to you after all of this time. You look and act so much like your mom. I promise that one day we'll sit down and talk about everything

I just want you to know that I love you. I always have

--Jon

PS: Sorry if you don't like teddy bears...I had to guess

My eyes welled up with tears as I looked at Travis. He smiled and took the card to read it. I snatched it back from him. He laughed at me and left the room. I put the tickets inside of the card and the card on the nightstand. I clutched the bear to my chest and laid down 

I AM going to find him. I HAVE to