in between all things

Chapter Fifteen

The cold, Australian winter air hit me hard as Jace and I made our way towards my house. After hours of teasing, laughing and small talk, we decided it was time to head home considering that it was almost midnight, and we each had about a dozen missed calls from our families.

Despite my nervousness about how Drew and my mum would react when I got home, I was happy. Our actions would have consequences but it was worth it. The complete, safe feeling that I got around Jace was worth it.

Once we reached my street, Jace and I stopped. He squeezed my hand and leant into me, kissing me. Jace pulled away after a minute, leaving me breathless. "I'm happy, Ash." He said hesitantly.

I grabbed his jaw and pecked his lips. "I'm not going to judge you for showing feelings Jace."

"I didn't-"

I shook my head. "I could see it in your eyes."

"Fine. I'm really happy, and I'm scared." He admitted, looking away. "I'm scared about what happens next. We'll be punished, and this time it's not going to be just scolding."

I buried my head into his chest. "I know, Jace."

"We've been fucking up a lot lately." He mused.

"You mean I've been fucking up lately. You fuck up all the time, so you're just being yourself." I said, chuckling.

Jace punched my shoulder, but his lips were turned up in a smile. "Fair enough."

"I never expected this to be how I spent my senior year." I said, looking up at the sky. If someone had told me that I would fall for my brother's bestfriend, I would have laughed and told them that they were crazy. I'd always thought I'd be crushing on Louis until graduation.

Jace's eyes danced. "It was good though."

I looked him in the eye for a moment before looking away, nodding. "Cya, Jace." I said, starting to walk down my street. I heard him say something but I didn't look back to respond, I just kept walking. As I approached my house, my dad's car was parked out the front. Go figure. I had expected that this would happen. They'd get Dad to 'talk some sense' into me, tell me that I was hurting Mum, try to guilt trip me.

I shoved my right hand into my pocket as I opened the front door with my left, squeezing my eyes shut as I walked through the front door. For a tiny second I felt hope flush through me; hope that everyone would be asleep, since it was well past midnight. That hope soon became nonexistent, though, as soon as I walked into the kitchen.

I looked at Mum and Dad, who were sitting at the breakfast bar, coffee in their hands, while Drew was leaning against the wall. They all looked exhausted. After a few seconds, Dad abruptly stood up, his expression unreadable.

"Hello, Asher." He said, while Mum and Drew stayed quiet.

"Dad." I said coldly.

"Where have you been, Ashy?" Mum asked suddenly, her voice full of worry. I felt guilt tug at me, but I pushed it away. I needed to present a strong front.

"Places." I said, looking at Drew. I knew that he knew. It was obvious by the way he looked at me; like I was a liar. I didn't blame him though. I had told him about Jace and I, so it was only natural for him to assume that Jace and I were more than friends.

"Ash, don't." He warned. "Don't lie."

I threw my hands up in the air, suddenly filled with hate for Drew, my parents and myself. I hated that I was putting Mum in the same room as her ex husband and that I was forcing Drew to grow up, to act strong, even though he usually was, but that didn't mean it was fair on him.

Though most of all I hated that I was throwing away everything I had. I knew what was coming. I was going to be sent to live with Dad. And I knew that I should just back down now, but I didn't - I couldn't.

"Alright, Andrew. Where do you think I've been?" I snarled at him. I knew exactly how to break Drew and that was what I was going to do, because I just didn't care. He could out Jace and I for that matter, and I would stand there like the stupid fuckup I was. I wanted to save Jace's reputation, but I couldn't do that without saving myself, and I was done. I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to be saved.

"Don't make me do this, Ash." Drew said desperately.

"I don't care. Have your fun." I shot back. Mum and Dad were watching us confused, but neither looking like they wanted to get involved. Of course they expected Drew to handle me. That's the way it's always been, after all.

"Is that what you think of me? That I would just blab out that you're dating my bestfriend? That you're-" Drew said. Then his eyes widened, and he banged the back of his head against the wall. "Ash! I'm so sorry!"

I blinked, avoiding my parent's gazes. There it was; the truth was out. And I didn't care. I smiled softly at Drew. It was bittersweet that he was good at piecing together evidence and that he didn't mean to speak of his findings but did it anyways.

"Well, if the shoe fits, Andrew." I said quietly.

"Drew? What's the meaning of this?" Dad asked Drew, enraged.

Mum gasped, turning to me. "Asher? What's going on here?"

I smiled at them both, sadly. "I believe you guys both know English. I mean, come on."

"This is not the time to mess around! Both of you stop!" Dad said sternly. "Tell me your brother's joking." Dad begged me.

"No. He's not." I said slowly. "I'm gay."

I watched as Mum's face paled and Dad's went red. I winced and turned to look at Drew. I didn't want to feel horrible about this I'd just blame him. God, I was a horrible person. "Go you, Drew. You try to protect the people you love, but you can't protect me."

"I'm really sorry, Ashy." Drew said, his voice breaking at the end. I cocked my head to the side and looked at everyone. To be perfectly honest, I knew this would happen, maybe not exactly but I had a general idea. Drew always tried way too hard, Mum always broke her own heart by expecting things to be better than they actually were and Dad was I'm realising, just like me. We throw away good things because we feel something. Maybe it's true what Jace used to say - feelings destroy you and everyone around you.

And so does the truth.

Edited by: LarryShipSails