Poems...

The Truth

I step back 

And watch

as you tear yourself from the inside to the out. 

You say its not my fault

but I know that it is. 

We have been over this. 

Too many times to count. 

We send snapchat to snapchat

for you are too cowardly to fight in person. 

But I understand, 

for If I looked at you, 

I would break. The argument would dissolve 

into nothingness. As I take you in, 

your voice, 

your freckles. 

What wonderful beautiful eyes you have. 

Id have the words on the tip of my tongue, 

but by the time they were about to be spoken

I would forget them. 

I step back 

and watch

as argument and argument, 

you turn into something else. 

Someone that I used to be. 

You tell me to sit, 

to be patient, 

that you will change. 

But I have heard that before. 

You make excuses, 

you try to hide the truth 

even if you tell me it days later.

Because you didn't want me to be mad. 

It doesn't matter. 

Because I will forgive you every time. 

So I departed and yet you wouldn't let me go. 

Not without a fight. 

And I love that about you, 

how stubborn you can be. 

You want me back but 

you have yet to find what makes you, you.

You wanted to change for me, not for you. 

when it should be, 

the other way around. 

I step back, 

and turn my head, 

so you don't see the tears I shed. 

As you say I don't love you like you love me. 

If only you knew, 

that I love you too.

That the words I speak, 

of break up and defeat 

aren't for my benefit 

but for yours. 

I wish you'd step back, 

and watch. 

Maybe then you'd know I care, 

maybe then you'd know I did it for you, 

maybe then youd know I thought it was going to benefit you. 

Maybe you'd know that I love you, 

just the same like I always have. 

Maybe then you'd know

it broke me too. 

Authors note: Written about my current complicated love life, if there are grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know. I wrote this too get my feelings and thoughts out about a guy I really cant live without, but I'll settle as long as we are friends. Hes stupid, stubborn, crazy just like me, we have so much in common,  but more then that he sees the beauty in me that I just cant see. He made me feel beautiful and I think we all need someone like that.