Late night car drives
With friends
That awake your soul
And make you feel alive.
Lately I've been trying to get that
Feeling back.
And no matter what,
I can't.
I don't feel alive or awake.
I feel tired.
Always tired.
I can't help it,
I can't tell my brain
To be okay,
To get over it.
And so I take what I can get
Alcohol, weed,
Anything I can get my hands on
Because in a weird way,
It makes me feel
normal, okay.
Late night car drives with friends
Turned into me in a uber
on my way from
another one night stand
to feel something,
anything.
It turned into me in a uber,
On my way from
Another party,
Fucked up as can be,
Feeling alive and alone.
I'm not addicted to nicotine,
Alcohol,
Anything like that.
No I'm addicted to feeling awake,
To feeling okay and normal.
When I was a kid I'd jump on a swing,
And see how high I could go.
Would I fly or would I fall?
I can't help but to feel like everything's out of reach,
Everything I want in life is unattainable, atleast for me.
I'm too broken for a relationship,
Too mentally and physically scarred.
I'm too blunt and yet shy,
I get way too fucked up on a
Monday night then anyone should,
But I work my ass off to the point where I barely have any free time.
I stress myself out and spread myself thin,
Trying to be something in this world that makes me feel like nothing.
Car rides were the ones that made me feel alive,
But when I get out,
I'm living a life that I can't breath in.
YOU ARE READING
Poems...
PoetryPoems I wrote and thought I would share them... they are kind of dark and personal so...
