Poems...

I will never forget you

You have never once
left my mind. 
the fun we shared, 
the memories we had.

I will never forget you,
the way your eyes looked
as your read. 
The way you laughed,
it wasn't meant to be perfect, 
we were never perfect. 
Far from it. 
We fought a lot, 
but we laughed a lot too. 

I will never forget, 
how I relaxed around you, 
let my guard down around you,
and smiled. 

I will never forget 
the way kissing you tasted, 
the way it felt to be in your arms, 
the way it felt to be loved. 

I will never forget, 
the Poki dates, 
the whale painting, 
the spaghetti carbanara, 
The bath talks,
Our wine,
the smile I got when you snap chatted me,
the feeling of happiness. 

I will never forget, 
the jokes, 
the laughs, 
the way you were so Infuriating 
but how I just wanted more. 

I will never forget, 
That when we got angry, 
we got coffee instead, 
there was no hitting, 
there was no cowering in the corner. 
We talked, 
we listened. 
And you taught me that
not everyone is like him, 
that I didn't have to be afraid of you, 
but you didn't even know what you taught me.

I will never forget 
and I will never forget you. 

You deserved so much better, 
you deserved the world and 
yet you never realized it. 
And I can only hope that one day you get it. 

I never wanted to let you in, 
to see the real me, 
because I thought I was too complicated, 
that you couldn't handle it nor my past. 
You always brought it up, 
you always wanted to know, 
but it was too painful to speak of, 
I wasn't ready. 

And when it all came crashing down,
when my past caught up, 
and the feelings of happiness 
was replaced with dread, 
the feeling of being relaxed, 
was replaced with fear. 
I couldn't tell you, 
I didn't want to add to your plate, 
I didn't want to because I was a coward. 

So instead I pushed you away, 
and now I only want the best for you, 
I want you to have a life 
where you are happy, 
where you have everything you ever wanted.
And I think we both realized
at the end of the day, 
I was never supposed to still be there, 
I was never supposed to 
because you have so much more in store for you,
you are going to have a life that makes you so thankful to wake up,
a life where your happy.  

And I hope one day, 
when you are sitting with your beautiful wife, 
and darling children, 
that you are happy. 
that Is all I ever wanted 
for you. 

Maybe one day, 
you will look back, 
and not hate me for how 
I ended things. 
Maybe one day, 
You will look back, 
and will see why I did it, 
and you will be thankful 
because you will realize you were 
way too good for me. 

And one day you will have someone that
is good for you, is exactly enough maybe even more 
then you could have ever dreamed. 
And you will be happy. 

I will never forget, 
the memories, 
the laughs, 
you.