Poems...

I remember...

Blue lips

See thru arms

white noses

bottles thrown

capsules everywhere

cigarettes on bodies

punches instead of hugs

knives instead of love yous

shaking walking

leaving 

forgetting

hiding

not even goodbyeing

I have holes and scars

I have desperation to make you stay 

I beg, I plead, I shout and cry your name

but you didn't want to. 

I didn't deserve it, 

anything you did to me 

but I accepted it 

because I loved you. 

You left this world

without a goodbye

without a trace 

no way to be remembered

besides us. 

But the memories 

have been forgotten

pushed and locked up. 

And I don't even remember

what you were like 

before everything. 

I remember 

broken bottles, 

pill capsules, 

burnt skin and white noses. 

I remember the cold, 

but I don't remember who you 

used to be.