sound of your heart

16

"How's the chicken?" I asked Bey. We've been sitting at this restaurant for about thirty minutes and Beyoncé hasn't said a word. Not a word. I'm at a loss, I don't know what the hell to do. I'm starting to think this lunch thing wasn't the greatest idea.

Despite what went down between us earlier, I still managed to convince Bey to let me take her out to lunch before therapy. I was hoping we could talk about what happened in the shower, but I haven't gotten anywhere with her. She only responds by nodding her head. She don't even look up when I'm talking to her. It's frustrating as fuck, but I'm doing my best to be patient with my girl. I know she's going through it right now, and I know it's my fault, but she has to understand I'm just trying to help. Everything I do, I'm doing for her. I just feel like she don't get it.

I was surprised when Beyoncé glanced up at me instead of just nodding. I didn't try hiding my surprise either. I really feel like I ain't seen my girl in a minute and she's sitting right across from me. I'm so used to looking at Bey constantly, studying her dimples and her beauty marks and shit, that I'm going a little crazy. Her beauty is unreal, it's just every lil thing about her that makes me love the hell outta her.

Damn I miss her. I know she's right here, but she's not. You know?

It's fine. Bey said before looking back down. It was short, but that was the first time we've made eye contact since we got here. That's some shit, huh? Even though I was happy we were getting somewhere, she looked completely emotionless and that shit scared me.

"It's gotta be better than fine. It's had you occupied for the past twenty minutes." I said. Beyoncé just nodded and I sighed. We were back to this again. "Bey, what's up? You don't have to be here if you don't wanna be. I can drop you off at your session now if you want."

Beyoncé didn't say anything. She just dropped her fork and stood up. I'm not gonna front, I was shocked as fuck when she grabbed her purse and stormed out. Yeah I know what I said, but I didn't expect her to actually leave. Shit, can I at least finish my food first? This is money wasted!

I sighed and flagged down the waiter. I paid for our food and left a tip before walking outside. I spotted Bey leaning against my car with her arms crossed over her chest. I shook my head and made my way over to her. "Beyoncé, what the fuck? What was that?"

She stared at me blankly and I rubbed my head in frustration.

"Listen Bey, I don't know what's going on in your head right now but I know you're struggling. I get it. You know I do. But you can't shut me out, ok? That's only gonna make things worse between us. Don't do that baby, please." I tried looking in Bey's eyes but she kept her head down. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at me. "Talk. To. Me. Why you acting like this?" I asked.

Fuck. Off. Beyoncé snapped. She pushed me off of her and tried walking away. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Don't make me cause a fucking scene in the middle of Manhattan Bey. Stop showing your ass and speak to me like a god damn adult. I'm trying to be patient but you're pushing it." I said through my teeth. Beyoncé mugged me but didn't say anything. "You acting like a brat ain't gonna do shit. I love you, you know that, and I'm tryna be here for you. Why won't you let me?"

Beyoncé's glare hardened but she wasn't fooling nobody. I know her better than that. I saw the tears in her eyes, I knew it was all a front. I tried to wipe them away once they started falling but she dodged her head. I said leave me alone Shawn. Just stop. Just fucking stop! She cried.